When I was eighteen years old, two friends and I drove to Columbia, South Carolina, to a reptile show. Keeping reptiles and amphibians hadn’t yet Continue Reading
Humor
Basement Dwellers
Have you ever looked at something and thought, if I adjusted it marginally, it could be awesome? Then, the next thing you know, you’re pulling at Continue Reading
A Forecast for Panic
For almost two weeks, meteorologists and weather apps tracked a “devastating” snow and ice storm that was due to wreak havoc on the Eastern Atlantic Continue Reading
Work Cattle for a Week, and You’ll Understand Why We Eat Them
2020 05 15 Friday, early afternoon Work cattle for a week, and you’ll understand why we eat them. I was breathing like bellows in a forge, Continue Reading
The Night My Appendix Burst and the Towers Fell
By D.D. Finder “We’re going to check your rectum.” We? How many people do you need? Isn’t one enough? I turned around, Continue Reading
The Book Ferret Lesson
When I was fifteen years old, I was determined to work as hard as I could and save up my money so I could buy my first car before turning sixteen. My Continue Reading
The Walnut That Nearly Killed My Stick Shift
We own a 2017 Toyota Corolla iM. It's a good car. We've had it nine years and logged 119K miles on it. The Corolla has taken us all over the United Continue Reading
A Cop’s Guide to Brain Surgery
Editor's Note: Yes, we have to say this: the “medical advice” in this piece is satire. Do not attempt any of it, unless your long-term plan involves a Continue Reading
Midnight Knocks and a Hatchling in the Dirt
I’m scrambling for some semblance of literary excellence to bestow upon you, dear reader. I’m currently sitting in a motel room near Topsail Island, Continue Reading
When the Floor Starts to Crawl
There’s been something brewing just below the surface for quite a while. If I had to guess, I’d say it started around four years ago. It started Continue Reading
A UK Intel Operative, a Russian Woman, and the Sickest I’ve Ever Been
“Look, Randy,” I explained as we walked into our makeshift command center in Balad, Iraq, “we’ve never integrated foreign partners—even the UK—into Continue Reading
Protecting the Flock… Bama Style
I ran across a pretty objectionable older woman at the Target. Very well dressed, hair perfectly coiffed, nose literally up in the air. She was one of Continue Reading