Why Do Good Men Do Nothing?
Edmund Burke penned, “All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.“ Not too long ago, I expressed my concern about a man’s presence at a church single’s event. I’d witnessed and been taken off-guard by his inappropriate, unasked for creepy, full body extra-tight bear hugs. I’d also been made aware of his other more serious behaviors reported by multiple unsuspecting women, not to mention revolting court transcripts detailing his alleged child sexual abuse. My home church had a permanent restraining order against him. I asked a single male leader to keep an eye on him. He brushed me off. “Oh, I’m not worried. He’s got a girlfriend. He’s having sex. He’s not a problem.”
When asked to serve in leadership for singles at that church where the current leadership condoned this man’s attendance and refused to warn to women in attendance, I answered. I can’t serve on a leadership team that lacks the courage to protect vulnerable women and children. What are the biggest problems with rape and sexual harassment plaguing the military, college campuses, the workplace, families and religious environments?
- The knee-jerk denial tendency to disbelieve and blame the person who was raped, abused or taken advantage of, plus the lack of discernment concerning predators and the rationalizations offered to excuse, justify or ‘forgive’ remorseless perpetrators.
- The public’s tendency to idolize and worship charismatic, charming, convincing public personas, instead of Almighty God Himself, and hang on every word from lips that drip duplicitous. Yes, I’ve been guilty of this — only to my bitter disappointment.
- The silence required by institutions to “fix the problem”— who settle legitimate claims by manipulating victims to sign legally-binding confidentiality agreements (reverse legal blackmail) before the payoff — attests to the institution’s abusive power and ability to control the public perception of their image.
- Dominators confident in their power, influence and wealth that empowers them to getaway with rape and abuse.
- Institutional greed that ignores sin in the camp to protect public perceptions and donor dollars.
- Organizations and leaders — who lack the moral fortitude or the ethical courage to report people who do evil — reveal a calloused and total disregard for the safety and welfare for those they’re duty-bound to protect. Think “just horsing around” Jerry Sandusky.
Do people think that God is not watching? Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap. (Galatians 6:7, NASB)
- Until powerful leaders and parents sprout a pair to stop rewarding and empowering sexual aggressors to continue their abusive behaviors against new, unsuspecting victims.
- Until powerful leaders and parents have the moral fortitude to stand against rape, incest, sexual abuse, harassment and institutional sexploitation aided by lawyers.
- Until leaders and parents understand that confession is happy, healing business.
- Until leaders and parents muster up the ethical courage to step up and to stop sweeping criminal behavior under the carpet or signing sealed confidentiality agreements to keep the M.O.N.E.Y rolling into their coffers — the wrecking ball of cowardice, arrogance and greed will continue to destroy the lives of the innocent.
Reflection: When a victim or survivor tells you they were raped, sexually abused or harassed by someone you admire, what is your first knee-jerk response?
Resources: Rape and Sexual Assault: A Renewed Call to Action, The White House Council on Women and Girls, January 2014.
Not Alone, The First Report of the White House Task Force to Protect Students from Sexual Assault, April 2014.
Sexual assault and rape on U.S. College campuses: Research roundup, Journalist’s Roundup, Research on today’s news topics.
“Sexual assault happens all too frequently in the US: every two minutes, according to Justice Department statistics. It is our hope that this controversy will not deter victims from coming forward and reporting their assault and receiving the support they deserve. To survivors out there who have yet to reach out for help, please know that the National Sexual Assault Hotline is available 24/7, by phone at 800.656.HOPE and online at rainn.org.” — Scott Berkowitz, president and founder of RAINN
A ground breaking and compelling story of heartless deception, this true tale will grip your attention from beginning to end. For anyone considering a romantic relationship, this book identifies the glue that catches and holds victims in toxic relationships; reveals the disordered mindset that enables predators to act with heartless disregard for the welfare of their targets; clarifies the difficulty in criminalizing rape by fraud; plus provides meaningful steps toward healing. Both enlightening and painfully frank, Ms. Short delves into the mindset of the emotional predator and how they operate with advice on what to do if one targets you or someone you care about.
Rape Kit: Need to Know, E. Black.
Are you denying what happened to you or are you afraid no one will believe you? This book is a practical guide written for every woman young or old. This book is not a reference for law enforcement, criminal investigators, attorneys or medical practitioners wanting in-depth information on forensics. It includes what do after you’re raped and an explanation of the process, the emotional aftermath, identifies personality traits and behaviors for college women to be on the lookout for, and offers some simple precautions to take when drinking socially. The Rape Kit shifts the focus from who is at fault to the physical evidence of domestic violence and sexual assault to provide irrefutable proof of the crime of rape. The statistical results in this book offer a clear call to action to protect the rights of women and girls.
The Rape Recovery Handbook: Step-by-Step Help for Survivors of Sexual Assault, Aphrodite T. Matsakis, Ph.D.
In the Rape Recovery Handbook, Matsakis demonstrates a unique level of compassion and concern for rape victims and their capacity for healing. While guiding her reader gently through numerous exercises specially designed for maximum effect, Dr. Matsakis provides illumination into thought processes that often trap victims into believing that they are beyond hope. Gentle, empathetic advice, along with a sincere belief that rape victims can restore their self-esteem and become rape survivors living full, joyful lives, makes this book indispensable to both victim and therapist alike!” — Teresa Lauer, MA, RapeRecovery.com. An Amazon reviewer highly recommended “that you have a therapist or someone you can talk to while you work through this book.”
Rape, Incest, Battery: Women Writing Out the Pain, Miriam Harris, Editor
Rape, incest, and battery change a woman’s life forever. Some women never rise above the pain, the rage, the humiliation, while others seem to transcend the violence and rebuild their lives. This text is a collection of stories from around the world of women who have survived such abuse.
Perfectly Planned, Kelly R. Porter
This raw, gritty page-turner graphically describes in detail sexual abuse from a young age. From victim to victor, the author is an expert on overcoming all forms of abuse and the art of forgiveness. To inspire and empower all victims and survivors, Kelley Porter’s memoir reveals what happiness is after abuse.