Some times ya just gotta laugh. Would you love to watch?
- Ted Cruz and Chris Christie prosecute Hillary Clinton during a debate?
- Carly debate Hillary? Carly’s quick, pointed answers versus Hillary’s regurgitation of calculated, legally-crafted, dull, rehearsed statements.
- Trump debate Hillary? Hillary’s snarks versus Trump’s barks.
How long into the air time did it take to mention or notice?
- 0:00:02: Ghost of Reagan
- 0:04:22: Dude with the eyebrows behind Tapper
- 1:49:06: The Plane
- 2:12:00: First 9/11 mention arrives later than expected
Who gained the most Twitter followers during the first hour of the debate?
- Fiorina: 11,150
- Carson: 8,180
- Trump: 6,369
- Bush: 2,087
Who won the Drudge Poll? (Votes at 11:15 p.m. MT)
“I’m #1 in polls by quite a lot,” Donald Trump @ GOPDebate
- 61.51%: Trump: 238,070 votes
- 15.36% Fiorina: 59,668 votes
- 5.2% Cruz: 20,210 votes
- 5.02% Rubio: 19,509 votes
- 4.45% Paul: 17,321 votes
- 3.88% Carson: 15,072 votes
- 1.15% Christie: 4,468 votes
- 1.13% Bush: 4,468 votes
- 1.06% Kasich 4,129 votes
- 0.68% Walker 2,654 votes
- .51% Huckabee 1,995 votes
Mashable: Twitter’s top 3 most-mentioned candidates during #GOPDebate
Candidates’ Preferred Secret Service Code Name-to-be
- Trump: Humble
- Fiorina: Secretariat
- Cruz: Cohiba
- Rubio: Gator
- Paul: Justice Never Sleeps
- Carson: One Nation
- Christie: Truehart
- Bush: EverReady. Bush to Trump: “It’s very high-energy, Donald.”
- Kasich: Unit One
- Walker: Harley
- Huckabee: Duck Hunter
- #TrumpFace is winning the debate right meow.
- Must see TV. Just give a A DONALD CAM, please CNN. His reactions are gold.
- Donald Trump just did every emoji face on your phone in 7 seconds. #TrumpFace
- “Would anyone vote for that? Can you imagine that, the face of our next president?” #TrumpFace #Donald Trump
- Gurl, lets make #TrumpFace a thing.
- #TrumpFace #FiorinaFace Think I’d go with Fiorina
Looks and Persona
Jake Tapper to Carly: “What do you think about Mr. Trump’s persona?” Carly responding to Jake’s question regarding Donald Trump’s comment in Rolling Stone: “Look at that face! Would anyone vote for that? Can you imagine that, the face of our next president. I mean, she’s a woman, and I’m not s’posedta say bad things, but really, folks, come on. Are we serious?”
- “It’s interesting to me. Mr. Trump said he heard Mr. Bush very clearly. I think women all over this country heard very clearly what Mr. Trump said.”
- “More energy, tonight, I like that,” Trump to Jeb.
- “First all Rand Paul shouldn’t be on this stage,” Donald Trump.
- “I never talked about his [Rand’s] look.” Trump to Rand Paul.
Tweets regarding Rand Paul’s hair:
- Every hair looks like it’s trying to escape but they couldn’t agree on a plan.
- “Give me the Gene Wilder”
Chitter Chatter and Twitter Titters
- “There are smart ways to do things and there are muscular ways to do things,” Dr. Ben Carson.
- “This is a country where we speak English, not Spanish,” Trump to Jeb.
- Tweet: What kind of name is Melania, anyway? Sounds Spanish to me.
- Tweet: They had to get a translater in the benefits office today. Somebody came in speaking English.
- “I want them to hear it from me, not a translator at Univision,” Marco Rubio, on why he answers Spanish questions in Spanish.
- Tweet: Are we really arguing over English and Spanish?
- Tweet: Remember when ppl said that Americans need to learn a second language as a point of pride?
- Tweet: Any Native Americans want to explain one or two of the things wrong with “in this country we speak English” to Donald?
- “If you want to stump a Democrat, ask them to name an accomplishment of Hillary Clinton,” Carly Fiorina.
- “Flying is an activity, not an accomplishment,” Carly Fiorina in regard to Hillary Clinton’s Secretary of State frequent flier miles.
- “Somehow he just doesn’t have courage,” Donald Trump regarding Obama.
- Tweet: Yes, Jeb, I think you’re wife is tremendous…All right, Donald apologize.
- Tweet: “I hear she’s a lovely woman. But I won’t apologize. I wasn’t wrong,” Donald Trump
- Tweet: 2 rich white guys with foreign wives debating the political meaning of having foreign wives.
- “There will always be a Bush or a Clinton if you want to go back to war in Iraq,” Rand Paul.
- “It’s time for the government to get out of the way and let the people decide how they want to run their country,” Ben Carson.
- Chris Christie to Carly Fiorina and Donald Trump: “Those who don’t have a job could care less about your careers. Stop this childish back and forth between the two of you.”
- “[Reagan] didn’t get elected telling everybody how great he was,” Governor Mike Huckabee.
- “Forty years ago I smoked marijuana,” Jeb Bush.
- “Marijuana is not like the marijuana Jeb Bush smoked 40 years ago. Sorry Barbara,” Carly Fiorina.
- “We’ve spent 12 minutes talking about the past, let’s talk about the future,” Carly Fiorina.
Bottoms Up! Drinking Game Tweets
- One bottle down.
- Every time someone says Ronald Reagan I’ve been taking a shot. Calling an ambulance now.
- Anyone who’s been taking a drink every time someone says, “Reagan” has been dead for an hour.
- Thousands of people dead nationwide from alcohol poisoning after drinking every time someone says Ronald Reagan during the #GOPDebate.
- If you’ve been taking a shot every time Tapper says, ‘thank you’ you’re probably in the morgue by now.
Twitter Whacks and Cracks
- Gonna start doing that when I want coworkers to stop talking. “Thank you Greg. Than-Thank you Greg. Thank you GrTHANK YOU GREG!”
- When the moderator tries to cut them off, he sounds like he’s begging his wife not to leave him. #Please #Please
- When I was Ronald Reaganing Ronald’s Reagin in 86, I Reaganed more than any Ronald Reagan ever Reaganed in the Reagan.
- So many tweets about the hottie in the audience. Gay Twitter, ironically enough, has its priorities straight.
- Not sure what’s going on, but the sliver of lesbian in me is all, “sup, Carly?”
- This may be the ANGRIEST two hours of my life…and I’m a gay man with multiple exboyfriends!
- No women were raped by Bill Clinton during the taping of this #GOPDebate. Except for five.
Political Twitter Banter
- Herman Cain tweeted: Taxes! FairTax! Flat Tax! Tithing Tax! Simpler Tax! Hooray!!!
- Ban partial birthright citizenship!
- Any 9 month pregnant woman with the stamina to walk across the border deserves the world.
- I can’t get 4 people to show up for brunch. Good luck deporting 12 million people!
- And if Donald Trump’s plan to deport 11-12 million gets too expensive, he’ll just declare bankruptcy. Easy peasy.
- There’s about five people on that stage I’d consider deporting.
- Debate lines that should be retired: “I’m the only one on this stage who…”
- WAIT WAIT WAIT LET’S GET BACK TO THIS TITHING TOPIC.
Tweets about Gentle Ben
- The longest distance between two points is any Ben Carson answer.
- I want Dr. Carson to read to my daughter at bedtime.
Tweets about Chris Christie
- Hey Chris: Carly’s not the big interrupter up here – its your boy donald. Hmm. Guys no likee when women talkee.
- Christie telling Fiorina to be quiet is nail in his coffin. She’s winning the debate and the only woman.
- “Stop talking about your careers so I can tell you about New Jersey some more!” Chris Christie.
- Look at Christie waving his arms around trying to cheat on his fitbit.
Tweets about Da Plane, Da Plane
- Let’s talk about smart, practical solutions here in this building we built around a plane.
- Saying Ronald Raising didn’t raise taxes is like saying his plane behind them is pink. It’s a lie.
- I’m voting for whoever it was that got that plane into a library.
- If the lower candidates had any guts at all they’d be in that airplane pressing their naked buttocks against the windows.
- I don’t wanna say this is brutal, but Air Force One just tried to take off #GOPDebate
Carly, Carly, Carly Tweets
- Fiorina calls the other candidates Mr. ____. They call her Carly.
- I’m about 99% certain that Carly Fiorina is a terminator sent from the future where Trump destroyed the world.
- Fiorina slices and dices and juliennes.
- #gopdebate this is the moment CEO vs CEO…I think Carly Fiorina drew blood.
- Donald, when you get schooled by a girl.
- In one night, Carly Fiorina has cost @RealDonaldTrump more than all three of his monthly alimony payments.
- I’m not crazy, right? 10 powerful men on stage. But the person who appears to be in charge: Carly Fiorina
- I disagree with Carly on everything but she has so much poise. She’s making everyone else look like clowns.
- I’m at a bar full of Brooklyn hipsters clapping for Carly Fiorina. Unbelievable.
- Can I just take a second to say how impressed I am with Carly Fiorina for standing that long in heels…that is strength, girl.
- Carly Fiorina = Steel, laser-beam focus, brains, class, moxie, and substance.
- Pretty sure even the Apostle Paul would give Carly Fiorina a pass on that whole “women should keep silent” thing.
That’s All Folks!
- This is the longest cold open SNL has ever had.
- An idea for next #GOPDebate, every 15 minutes pause the debate & Simon Cowell sends 1 candidate home until there are 3 left.
- I don’t know what is worse this or the MTV music awards.
- Jake Tapper isn’t really asking about issues. He’s orchestrating the biggest televised catfight ever.
- This #GOPDebate should’ve been on @Bravotv. It’s giving me a Housewives reunion vibe.
- Stay tuned for the next round where holograms of Hoover, Nixon, Eisenhower & Regan will take the stage and debate.
- Can’t wait for the 3rd hour when the #GOPDebate tries to commune with the ghost of Ronald Reagan!
© 2023 The Havok Journal