by Neville Johnson
Gut-wrenching upturning feeling
Breathing deep to release it
Trying to focus on each breath
Attempting to focus on something else
Anything but this will do
This feeling I hate the most
Trying to keep my mind busy
Maybe if I’m distracted it will fade away
Refuse to look it in the eye
Aggression’s dark desire to take control
Anger bleeding into my veins
Internal struggle in my mind
Struggle to control my breathing
Anxiety boiling filling my gut
Slowly taking over taking control
Clenching my fists I stand up
Resisting fighting not giving up
Out of the shadow, she appears
Placing her hand on my shoulder
Her soft voice killing the white noise
Seeing the hope in her eyes
You can fight this
We can stop this
Her voice of hope for my soul
Anxiety slowly dying away
My angel, my savior
Not leaving my side
Neville was born and raised in South Africa, in June 2000, at the age of 23 he left his home country to live and work in the United Kingdom.
At the age of 26, Neville joined the British Army and became an infantry soldier. He served seven years in the British Army and during that time deployed on active duty to Northern Ireland, Iraq, and Afghanistan as part of an infantry reconnaissance platoon.
After his time serving Queen and Country, he worked as a private security contractor in Iraq, on numerous Unites States government contracts.
Neville is currently living in New Zealand with his wife and three young kids. He’s now working for a private organization running a military-focused Services Academy and a Business Management program for students in a local High School that provides young people with skills sets, knowledge, and values to become leaders in their communities for a better way of life.
During quiet times, he focuses on writing, specifically poetry. Some of his poetry has been published in three books alongside the work of other veteran writers, “Sweeping Leaves in the Wind”, “Alone in a Crowded Room” and “War… & After the anthology of poet warriors.”