Anger • The Havok Journal

by Neville Johnson

Gut-wrenching upturning feeling

Breathing deep to release it

Trying to focus on each breath

Attempting to focus on something else

Anything but this will do

This feeling I hate the most

Trying to keep my mind busy

Maybe if I’m distracted it will fade away

Refuse to look it in the eye

Aggression’s dark desire to take control

Anger bleeding into my veins

Internal struggle in my mind

Struggle to control my breathing

Anxiety boiling filling my gut

Slowly taking over taking control

Clenching my fists I stand up

Resisting fighting not giving up

Out of the shadow, she appears

Placing her hand on my shoulder

Her soft voice killing the white noise

Seeing the hope in her eyes

You can fight this

We can stop this

Her voice of hope for my soul

Anxiety slowly dying away

My angel, my savior

Not leaving my side

___________________________

Neville was born and raised in South Africa, in June 2000, at the age of 23 he left his home country to live and work in the United Kingdom.

At the age of 26, Neville joined the British Army and became an infantry soldier. He served seven years in the British Army and during that time deployed on active duty to Northern Ireland, Iraq, and Afghanistan as part of an infantry reconnaissance platoon.

After his time serving Queen and Country, he worked as a private security contractor in Iraq, on numerous Unites States government contracts.

Neville is currently living in New Zealand with his wife and three young kids. He’s now working for a private organization running a military-focused Services Academy and a Business Management program for students in a local High School that provides young people with skills sets, knowledge, and values to become leaders in their communities for a better way of life.

During quiet times, he focuses on writing, specifically poetry. Some of his poetry has been published in three books alongside the work of other veteran writers, “Sweeping Leaves in the Wind”, “Alone in a Crowded Room” and “War… & After the anthology of poet warriors.”