My Greatest Friends

In another life, I lived among giants. I brushed shoulders with living legends. I lived a life on the tip of the spear. My generation got what so many before envied: a war. My generation applied rigorous training in the fury of battle. The GWOT generation got rotation after rotation of war across the world. I met my greatest friends in the rigors of training and fury of war. I met my greatest friends in moments of great suffering and human triumph. I met my greatest friends during my greatest failures. I met my greatest friends at my weakest moments. They too met their greatest friends in suffering and triumph, in their greatest failures, and their weakest moments. 

We spilled our blood, sweat, and tears together. We stood among one another, pushing ourselves into the abyss. We lived together on the brink. The brink of life, death, suffering, joy, and every other human emotion one could feel. We lived with one foot in this world and one foot in the grave. We carried the realities of our profession on our metal-wrapped wrists. We lived and died together. 

I met my greatest friends in these moments. I knew their every action before they took them. I knew their every tic, quirk, weakness, and strength. I knew everything about their existence in that world. I knew them as Rangers and nothing else. I knew all I needed to know. I knew all I wanted to know. I knew them as Rangers and what that meant. It meant living one foot in this world and another in the grave. It meant living on the brink of life and death. 

I knew them as Rangers out of self-preservation. To know them as anything more clouded the mind.  No longer the delusion of calling them a “drinking buddy,” they were the father of their children, they were a son, a brother, a husband. One could not simply drink away the loss of a father, son, brother, or husband. One could no longer drink away the plausible deniability of their loss to a family you knew nothing about. I knew my greatest friends as Rangers and nothing more because I needed to. I knew them as Rangers and nothing more because it made the flag-draped coffins and etched metal bracelets easier. 

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Jake Smith is a law enforcement officer and former Army Ranger with four deployments to Afghanistan.

As the Voice of the Veteran Community, The Havok Journal seeks to publish a variety of perspectives on a number of sensitive subjects. Unless specifically noted otherwise, nothing we publish is an official point of view of The Havok Journal or any part of the U.S. government.