Girls Scouts Sue Special Forces and Trump Over Beret Copyright Infringement

by Brad Chillier

(Courtesy of our friends at Article 107 News*)

In an unprecedent legal assault, the Girl Scouts of America are suing the U.S. Army Special Forces Command and President Donald Trump over what it describes as “gross violations of its intellectual property.”

“The Army Special Forces and President Trump have profited too long from the use of our symbol; it’s time to take it back and give it to its rightful owners,” said Girl Scouts of America spokesperson Sam Oas.

Citing historical precedence, and as shown in the historical photo below, the Girl Scouts of America claim the distinctive head gear worn by the Army Special Forces, the Green Beret, belongs to the Girls
Scouts and was culturally misappropriated by the Army.

Sam Oas supported this claim referencing President John F. Kennedy’s declaration that the Green Beret was a “badge of courage, a mark of distinction.” “Girl Scouts are the epitome of courage and distinction, have you not seen how they sell our cookies!”

A spokesman from U.S. Army Special Forces Command, Major Tre Foils acknowledged that while the Girl Scouts have been wearing berets since the 1930s, it did not adopt the green beret as its organizational head gear until it changed its uniforms in 1963. “President Kennedy officially recognized the Green Beret as the headgear for Army Special Forces in 1962, a year ahead of the Girl Scouts” added the major.

Sam Oas declared such revelations as “fake news” and vowed that the Girl Scouts would tap into their vast experience gained from its lawsuit against the Boy Scouts of America for its use of the word “Scout” in its title. “We will take this fight all the way to the Supreme Court if necessary to win back our beret,” said Oas.

When asked why President Trump was also named in the lawsuit, Oas explained, “Well, I mean, he is the Commander in Chief. And besides, no one would read this article unless it had some “Orange Man Bad” flavor to it.”

The court case is scheduled to appear before Federal District Court Judge LeMon Ups in Fayetteville, NC, home of Fort Bragg Fort Liberty Fort Bragg next week.

In the meantime, U.S. Army Special Forces Command issued a statement to all its personnel, declaring until further notice, establishments selling Girls Scout cookies as “unauthorized” and they are not to be patronaged.

And lest the Rangers feel left out: don’t worry, folks, the Girl Scouts are coming for you and your beret, too:

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*Article 107 News: The Facts, Before They Happen
Article 107 of the Uniform Code of Military Justice covers “false official statements.” As the name implies, Art107 News is Havok Journal’s satire wing, and you shouldn’t take anything published under this byline seriously. You should., however, mercilessly mock anyone who does. And please tell me you noticed the Girl Scout cookie puns in the people named in the article.