Donning My Gear

I don my belt and snap my keepers. I place my radio in its pouch and clip it in. I slide my light into its place. I slip into my body armor and zip it tight. I glide my gun into its holster and latch it into place. 

I turn the radio on and await the transmissions of affirmation. I flick on my light to ensure it is charged. I conduct my dryfires to maintain proficiency. 

As I don my gear and conduct my PMCSs, my brain almost always seems to wander. It is not the monotony of such tasks. No, they are far too important to become distracted monotony. The mind wanders not to the day ahead. The mind wanders and fills with frustration as I don my gear because of erroneous policies. I don my lifesaving gear knowing I live largely outside of these policies–that the gear I trust my life to must be in violation to ensure quality. 

My mind wanders because those who hold the most power seek to enforce the insignificant and arbitrary. “Appearance” supersedes safety. “Because I said so,” instead of well crafted, debated, and tested explanations. Black socks and polished boots must be essential for saving lives given their stressed significance. 

As I don my equipment, my mind wanders from setting my conditions. For using what time I have to ensure I am prepared for the day ahead. It wanders because of the sad reality of our “leadership” that the insignificant and arbitrary must supersede the essential. 

____________________________

This first appeared in The Havok Journal on December 14, 2023.

Jake Smith is a law enforcement officer and former Army Ranger with four deployments to Afghanistan.

As the Voice of the Veteran Community, The Havok Journal seeks to publish a variety of perspectives on a number of sensitive subjects. Unless specifically noted otherwise, nothing we publish is an official point of view of The Havok Journal or any part of the U.S. government.