Dealing with Barriers

We’re in pretty good shape — health, finances, family, etc. but we’re old with replacement parts both installed and yet to come. I’ve wanted to adopt a dog to replace the one we had to put down after more than a dozen years of mutual nurturing. My wife and I have tried two, the last one we discovered had health issues as challenging as ours. We finally decided after six weeks we couldn’t fairly address both her issues and ours. As they say, Life Sucks!

But not really. We realized as we moped and pushed through the blackness that these were just other barriers to keep us from reaching our core – stuff on the outside that tried to shatter our insides. That was part of the hurt, feeling that we were losing our integrity, we weren’t going to be that image of what we thought we should be, being able to do anything, including running four-minute miles, walking a dog five miles a day, setting up training sessions, treatment courses for osteo, or an arthritic hip. Or having the energy for expensive trips to visit family and friends.

We had to come back and accept that being 76 and 82 it’s OK to be mellow – Less is MORE! And maybe a 30 lb. energetic beagle wasn’t the wisest choice unless you can learn to skate across ice in the winter and there’s plenty of ice here in Wisconsin.

All this scratches at the problem: How can we accept what we are at the moment, keeping in mind that we can grow from moment to moment as we learn and modify our choices? So I thought I’d try to frame these thoughts both for myself and others.

So. I’m here on one side of these barriers and my real self is on the other side just as wonderful as it was the day I was born (ditto for you). Life has lobbed and fired some heavy shit on me and I’m fragmented almost beyond recognition.

Hmm. HUM! Yeh humming is a start. I want to acknowledge I’m still in a body that’s alive and vibrant. Hum and follow the flutter from your lips to your throat down into your lungs and chest. Become aware of your breath entering and leaving your body. You are alive. Give yourself over to that moment. You’re the only one that matters and for that moment you are alive and well.

Outside there are always forces beyond our control that tend to fragment the real integral us. We need to regain our integrity and a physical start is a good start. Here’s another exercise. Open your mouth and exhale making an “Ah” sound. Once again let the sound fill your belly and vibrate out from your center. Take back yourself for yourself. Let the sounds push away the barriers that keep you from becoming yourself. Really.

There are some who say the sound and the vibrations from the trumpets were responsible for crumbling the walls around Jericho. You can use that idea to break the shells that keep you from being you.

As always, remember you can connect to others through deeds of loving kindness especially when they flow from the center that’s the real you.

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Ken was a Professor of Mathematics, a ceramicist, a welder, and an IBMer until downsized in 2000. He taught yoga until COVID-19 decided otherwise. He continues writing, living with his wife and beagle in Shorewood, Wisconsin. He enjoys chamber music and mysteries. He’s a homebrewer and runs whitewater rivers. Ken is a writer and his literary works can be found at https://www.kmkbooks.com/

He welcomes feedback on his articles and can be reached at havokjournal@havokmedia.com.

As the Voice of the Veteran Community, The Havok Journal seeks to publish a variety of perspectives on a number of sensitive subjects. Unless specifically noted otherwise, nothing we publish is an official point of view of The Havok Journal or any part of the U.S. government.