The Open Secret That Kills Us • The Havok Journal

Today, a giant died. Today, a legend died. Today, a leader died. Today, a father died. Today, a husband died. Today, a friend died. Today, he died. Whatever he was to each of us is now the past. He was not killed in a blaze of glory on foreign soil, fighting our nation’s wars. He was not killed in the dangers of preparing for war. He was killed not by the enviable sands of time as he deserved. He was killed by his own hand.

Another suicide.

Enough is simply enough. Listen mother fuckers… stop suck starting guns. Stop shoveling handfuls of those VA pills in your mouth. Stop picking fights you know you will lose, that you want to lose. Stop tying the knots of nooses. Stop cutting your flesh with the flow of the river. Stop leaving us wondering why. Stop making those who care the most clean up the mess no one should ever have to do. JUST FUCKING STOP!

Let us all stop walking around with the open secret that kills us all The open secret that makes us stumble and walk the world feeling alone. War changes us. War is hell. War is beautiful. War is a drug. For better or worse, we are hooked on something it brings us, even amidst the destruction. War is… For all that war brings us, for all that it takes away, it is not ours to bear alone.

What is the secret? We are all humans. We all struggle. We all struggle with war. We all struggle with peace. WE.

For fucks sake, put the gun, blade, pills, and rope… down. Hide them, lock them up, strip them into pieces. Run away from them. Get in the car and drive away like they are some plague. Put them the fuck down and pick the phone the fuck up. A single phone call can destroy our notion of that isolating secret. A single phone call can save our lives. Just fucking call, text, whatever. Watch the world descend upon you with support. I do not know what else to say. I am exhausted. I am tired of losing people, not in war, but in peace. I am tired of wrapping more names around my wrist.

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Combat medics work through the “blood lab” at the Department of Combat Medic Training at Fort Sam Houston, Texas. The school has two blood labs in which the students sharpen their skills as soldier medics. One lab simulates the scene of a suicide bombing in a marketplace, and the other simulates a bombing in an office building. DoD photo by Fred W. Baker III (6 November 2008) Source.

Jake Smith is a law enforcement officer and former Army Ranger with four deployments to Afghanistan.

As the Voice of the Veteran Community, The Havok Journal seeks to publish a variety of perspectives on a number of sensitive subjects. Unless specifically noted otherwise, nothing we publish is an official point of view of The Havok Journal or any part of the U.S. government.