I live because they cannot. I strive to achieve because I must. I speak because their lessons deserve to live forever. I share because their memories should never fade. I am the culmination of those loved and lost. I am forever driven by guilt for surviving when they sacrificed. I am passionate and expressive because of those destroyed by the unforgettable past. A past they believed only death could bring them peace. I am grateful for the wisdom shared by those taken by Father Time. I am angry for those taken by the lies of others. The lies that led their bodies to betray them as they withered away in pain.
I am who I am because they cannot. I am who I am because I must. I am who I am because I am guilty. I am who I am because maybe I was not when I needed to be. I am who I am because I am grateful. I am who I am because I am angry.
I am who I am because who they were.

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This first appeared in The Havok Journal on August 18, 2024.
Jake Smith is a law enforcement officer and former Army Ranger with four deployments to Afghanistan.
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