Trump Derangement Syndrome: America’s Most Profitable Psychosis

by Tammy Pondsmith, Article 107 News

At long last, the national emergency known as Trump Derangement Syndrome (TDS) may finally get the federal attention it deserves. Thanks to Rep. Warren Davidson and his brave sidekick Rep. Barry Moore—who managed to speak through the shrieking chorus of MSNBC panelists and late-night comedians—America might finally put this raging cultural virus under a clinical microscope.

Let’s face it: TDS isn’t just a syndrome. It’s a business model, a lifestyle, and for some, a lucrative career path. Why debate Trump’s policies when you can just shriek “fascist!” and sell a t-shirt with Lady Liberty vomiting into a MAGA hat? Forget policy nuance. These days, if Trump proposed free puppies for orphans, you’d have half the media screaming, “Weaponized Cuteness! Impeach!”

The NIH, bless its soul, has been funding goat yoga for veterans and mindfulness training for parrots, but finally, we might get some research into why Aunt Linda from Portland bursts into tears every time someone says “border security.” Surely we can find a grant to study why activists foam at the mouth over peace deals in the Middle East—if they have Trump’s signature on them.

But let’s not be too hard on the afflicted. TDS sufferers are victims in their own right—casualties of a media-industrial complex that feeds on clicks, outrage, and hair-on-fire headlines. Without Trump, CNN might actually have to do journalism. Rachel Maddow would have to go back to covering New Jersey zoning board meetings. Stephen Colbert might have to tell jokes again.

And let’s not forget academia. Entire departments have been built on diagnosing Trump as a unique threat to democracy, the climate, and brunch. Remove Trump from the picture, and you’d have professors teaching comparative fascism using actual history again. Nightmare!

The beauty of the TDS Research Act is that it threatens to expose the raw nerve of it all: that this isn’t about Trump’s tweets, his tan, or his never-ending confidence. It’s about control. And Trump—love him or loathe him—refuses to be managed, scripted, or culturally sanitized. That’s why TDS isn’t about disagreement. It’s about the allergic, Pavlovian response to losing control of the narrative.

And therein lies the genius of Davidson’s bill. By studying TDS, we’re not just probing a political pathology—we’re threatening a whole ecosystem of grift, outrage, and emotional support podcasts. If we actually cured it? The entire coastal economy might collapse.

So good luck, NIH. Bring your clipboards and Kevlar. Because once you start poking at this hive, don’t be surprised when the bees start screaming “Nazi!” through bullhorns.

Tammy Pondsmith is the Chief Satirical Analyst at Article 107 News, where she specializes in chronicling political psychoses and cultural tantrums. Her hobbies include gardening and dodging cancel culture.

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