It’s Not Just Them – It Is Us: Beyond Biden and Trump, Embracing Personal Responsibility

My wife Jen is my accountability partner. Whenever I make observations on the world around me (as I do frequently), she is quick to remind me, in a kind way, to examine what my role in the current situation might have been. Her reminders keep me grounded – keeping reflections contained to actions I might be able to make as opposed to grandiose observations that sometimes seem overwhelming; they keep me humble – reminding me that I have a responsibility in some of the faults I see around me with my own actions or inactions; and finally, they keep me optimistic – knowing that I can make a difference in my actions that may have a positive impact in the world around me. 

When I start to throw stones, Jen ensures that I have examined the issue holistically. Recently, we were talking about the upcoming election, and yet again, she helped me to see beyond my initial thoughts, and it led to the realization – that if I think we have politicians who are not good – it’s not just on them – it’s also on me – and all of us.

In today’s rapidly evolving social and political landscape, it’s tempting to focus our frustrations and hopes on figures like President Biden and former President Trump. However, consider a different perspective: these leaders are not solely the problem. They may, in fact, be more representative of us as a nation than we’re comfortable admitting. This reflection isn’t about absolving leaders of their responsibilities but about recognizing our role in shaping the society that elects them.

In our haste to vilify leaders like Biden and Trump, we often overlook a critical question: why don’t we have better choices for candidates? It’s a reflection that demands we consider not just the political system but our societal norms and values. Many exceptional individuals, capable of transformative leadership, steer clear of politics. Have we paused to ask why?

The answer lies partly in what we’ve allowed politics to become—a landscape often marred by divisiveness and hostility, where ego and personal attacks overshadow constructive debate and where the pursuit of the common good is frequently lost in the noise of partisan agendas and self-promotion. This environment is not just the creation of those in office; it’s a mirror reflecting our collective behavior and the standards we’ve come to accept. If we desire a change in the political arena, it must start with a change in our own attitudes and actions, fostering a culture where honesty, respect, and collaboration are valued over conflict and sensationalism.

Our social media presence, the values we champion, and our everyday behaviors paint a vivid picture of who we are as a collective. While it’s easy to point fingers and declare, “Not me, it’s them,” the truth might be more nuanced. Perhaps it’s time for us to look inward, to ‘police ourselves up’ before attempting to uplift others. This isn’t a call for aggressive confrontation but for a quiet revolution in our daily choices and associations.

Where we spend our time and money, the company we keep, and how we engage in discussions all contribute to the cultural and political climate. Instead of resorting to yelling and vilifying those with differing views—a strategy that changes little—we could start by subtly altering our behaviors. These small changes, accumulated over time and across individuals, have the power to reshape our society.

But how do we initiate this change? It starts with self-awareness. Acknowledging our biases, recognizing where we might be contributing to the problem, and actively seeking to understand different perspectives. It’s about prioritizing kindness and empathy, not just in our personal interactions but in our broader societal engagements.

So, why write this piece when I usually write about leadership? Leadership is not just a role for the elected few; it’s a responsibility that each of us carries. By embodying the values we wish to see in our leaders—honesty, empathy, and a commitment to the greater good—we set a standard for the type of leadership we deserve. This is not a quick fix but a long-term commitment to personal and collective growth.

As we grapple with the notion of choosing between the ‘lesser of two evils’ in our elections—a sentiment that seems to have intensified in recent years—it’s imperative to remember a fundamental truth: we get the elected leadership we deserve. The founders of our nation foresaw this reality. They understood that our system reflects the values and desires of its people. Blaming the system is an easy out, but it’s us, the electorate, who have shaped this reality. We’ve fostered a political climate where compromise is seen as a weakness and extreme views often overshadow moderate, unifying stances.

In the military, there’s a well-recognized principle: the quality of leadership is reflected in the unit. Leadership shapes the culture, ethos, and effectiveness of a group. In civilian life, although we don’t have the same structured hierarchy as in the military, the concept still holds true. Our leaders are a reflection of us as Americans. They embody our collective choices, priorities, and, unfortunately, our divisions.

If we desire better and more genuine leaders, maybe it’s time to start looking within ourselves instead of casting blame on “those guys.” It’s about reevaluating our priorities, engaging in constructive and empathetic dialogue, and demanding more from ourselves as participants in this democratic process. By elevating our expectations and our own civic engagement, we can begin to cultivate a political landscape that attracts and fosters the kind of leadership we truly aspire to have. This shift requires a collective effort, a willingness to embrace change starting at the individual level, and a commitment to the greater good that transcends personal and partisan interests.

In this journey, let’s remember that while our leaders play a significant role, the power to effect change lies with us, the people. Let’s embrace this power, not with hostility or division, but with the understanding that every action, every word, and every decision contributes to the mosaic of our society. Together, let’s inspire a movement of positive change, one that starts with us and ripples outward, creating a society that reflects our highest ideals and aspirations.

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J.C. served in the U.S. Army as an infantry officer for 20 years, primarily in special operations and special missions units with more than 11 combat tours. Since retiring from the military, JC has brought his innovative and unconventional thoughts on education, leadership and resiliency into the private sector, consulting with Fortune 500 companies, the NFL, NBA, NCAA and professional sports teams including the Denver Broncos, Carolina Panthers and the Charlotte Hornets.

He holds a Masters Degree from the Naval War College and was a Senior Fellow in the Service Chief’s Fellowship at the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA).

He has earned 3 Bronze Stars, 3 Meritorious Service Medals, a Joint Commendation Medal, and  the Order of Saint Maurice. He is a Liberty Fellow, a part of The Aspen Institute and the Aspen Global Leadership Network.

As the Voice of the Veteran Community, The Havok Journal seeks to publish a variety of perspectives on a number of sensitive subjects. Unless specifically noted otherwise, nothing we publish is an official point of view of The Havok Journal or any part of the U.S. government.