When the Win Finally Counts

For years, it felt like I was running a hundred miles per hour in the wrong direction. I’d work twice as hard going the wrong way to somehow still end up where I meant to be. Stumbling and bumbling every step of the way has been the story of my life. It’s the only way I know how to get things done.

Figuring it out as I go, I’ve taught myself how to navigate in arenas I have no business being in. The adage “fake it until you make it” seems to apply to most of my ventures. There comes a point, though, where I’m no longer faking it, and I have to acknowledge that perhaps I have actually made it. Whatever “it” is.

The edit for my upcoming poetry book, A Toad in a Glass Jar, was finalized this week. It’s been an almost three-year journey to get from submission to launch date, but I’m glad it’s finally coming to fruition. My editor and the publishing company worked with me every step of the way, and I’ve learned so much. Mostly, it just feels good that someone believed enough in me and my work that they’d devote so much time. So, on October 15, my new book hops into existence. I’ll share more about how to grab a copy as we get closer to that date.

Once it goes live, I’ll likely do what I always do and downplay that accomplishment. It’s inevitable. I’ll chalk it up to not being a “real” book the same way I did with my children’s books and the Christian devotional book I published over a decade ago. “It’s only poetry,” I’m sure I’ll say as I beat myself up for not being further along on whatever creative odyssey I think I’m supposed to be on. I won’t be satisfied until I write the great American novel and have some accolades like “New York Times Bestselling Author” behind my name. Honestly, even then, I probably won’t be satisfied.

I’m not saying that won’t happen one day, but I’m also fully aware that my path has been less than direct. I should have been writing with this intensity twenty years ago. So, in some ways, having those thoughts seems unrealistic. Still, having lofty goals keeps me motivated to drive forward. I have to remember to celebrate the wins I do have, and not compare myself to a future that may never come. Creative contentment has never been my strong suit.

Teddy Roosevelt was on to something when he said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Sometimes, even comparing myself to my former or future selves steals the joy of the current moment. So, I’m going to take a moment and celebrate wins where I have them. I have a book coming out this fall! This is the fifth book I’ve created, and the first from a legitimate publisher. Not to mention the other books I contributed to alongside other authors. Those are wins as well.

This doesn’t mean I’m going to sit on my hands and live in this moment forever. It’s good to recognize when things start coming together. But take a second, celebrate the win, and then move on. The projects on the back burner will move to the forefront, and the cycle repeats forever. There are multiple projects happening at any given time. This is the blessing and curse of the creative life.

Speaking of creativity, if you’re a veteran and want to participate in a free online creative writing course hosted by yours truly, shoot me a message, and I’ll get you hooked up. I guess I could add this to the list of recent “wins,” considering I have no idea how I landed in this role, but I’m delighted to be here. The last few years have been a whirlwind of hard work, and I’m glad to finally see the fruit of that labor. Thanks for being along for the ride!

_____________________________

Stan Lake is a writer, photographer, and filmmaker currently living in Bethania, North Carolina with his wife Jess and their house full of animals. He split his time growing up between chasing wildlife and screaming on stages in hardcore bands you’ve never heard of. He has been published by Dead Reckoning Collective, The Havok Journal, Reptiles Magazine, Lethal Minds Journal, and many others. He filmed and directed a documentary called “Hammer Down” about his 2005 deployment in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom in with Alpha Battery 5-113^th of the NC Army National Guard. You can find his books, collected works, and social media accounts at www.stanlakecreates.com

As the Voice of the Veteran Community, The Havok Journal seeks to publish a variety of perspectives on a number of sensitive subjects. Unless specifically noted otherwise, nothing we publish is an official point of view of The Havok Journal or any part of the U.S. government.