by Amanda Sullivan
This article came from a Facebook post by Amanda Sullivan and is shared with her permission.
I’m coming up on ten years (!!) of being injured. Over the years, my doctors have suggested amputating my right leg. I couldn’t fathom losing my leg. I was in such a terrible place mentally & spiritually and, honestly, that would have pushed me over the edge. I thought that with therapy, eating well and a healing lifestyle, my right leg would eventually catch up to the rest of my body.
I went from having no feeling at all in my right leg to experiencing non-stop nerve pain for 9+ years. It’s difficult to sleep and concentrate with the pain. My right leg drags and catches on things, making me fall every day. I feel like my leg and my crutches are now holding me back.
I’ve been immersed in therapy to deal with and confront my Mon dying & my marriage ending. I feel stronger, mentally, spiritually & physically, than I’ve ever felt. I no longer felt like my leg would be “taken from me”, if it was amputated. Instead, the dead-weight removed would open up a world of possibilities for me.
The decision to amputate my right leg is not something that I’ve taken lightly. After having tests done recently, I learned that my right leg was essentially dead shortly below the knee, due to poor circulation and nerve damage. I was told that the damage could continue to move up my leg above my knee, which would be terrible. I want the best future possible for myself.
So, I had the surgery on Thursday!!! I’m pumped to have this new life ?? I told my surgeon that my goal is to RUN the NYCM in November on a prosthetic leg. He said it can definitely happen & he’ll come to cheer me on!!!!!
While I will have more pain now, for the next few weeks, than I would have if I had this surgery done years ago (because of the extensive damage to my leg), I’m happy I chose this now. I’m super in shape (I’ve been eating healthy and working out to be my best and healthiest self, for two years, in preparation for this surgery).
This is me taking back control of my life. I feel liberated. Elated for this next chapter. I felt God & my Mom with me the entire time.
I love you all!!! Here’s to new beginnings & not being afraid to start over again. Life is meant to be lived. I’m ready for this?
This first appeared in The Havok Journal on January 10, 2019.