Struggling with Life After War? You are Normal

by Britta Reque-Dragicevic

This first appeared in Britta’s blog, “Life After War” on October 30, 2014, and is republished with the author’s permission.

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What should you do with your life after war? It’s a big question, isn’t it. Most people assume you’ll go right back to doing whatever you were doing before war. It’s easy, right? You’ve been home awhile now, time to move on, isn’t it? That’s what everyone seems to think. So why isn’t it that easy? What’s wrong with you?

What you need to know is that if you are struggling with tough memories, feeling numb, angry, not sleeping, lashing out, drinking too much, looking for a crazy adrenaline rush – you are normal.

That’s right, normal.

You are not weak.

If you feel isolated, alone, that no one “gets it”, that you’re trapped inside yourself – you are normal.

That’s right, normal.

You are not weak.

And until you get that, and really believe it, you won’t be able to move on. And until your loved ones get that, and really believe it, they won’t be able to allow you to move on.

Because you are now in a fight for your life. Not against a tangible, physical enemy. But with war itself. War destroys. And it will keep destroying you.  Until you realize that that’s exactly what war is meant to do. The idea that you can be exposed to the forces of war and not be changed is a myth. When you accept that it’s normal to feel destroyed by it, you step back in your power. You can’t help not be affected, and it is a huge tragedy that you come home to a society who doesn’t get that. When you can see that where you are is exactly where you should be, from there, you walk forward. One day at a time.

There’s help for you. And there’s hope for you.

You are normal. You are not weak. See your mission now to become a new version of yourself, reshaped by war, but still, a warrior for peace.

So fight for peace. Your peace. Do what it takes to get help. The first step is reaching out and sharing what’s on your mind and heart.

Contact me. I’m here to listen.

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As the Voice of the Veteran Community, The Havok Journal seeks to publish a variety of perspectives on a number of sensitive subjects. Unless specifically noted otherwise, nothing we publish is an official point of view of The Havok Journal or any part of the U.S. government.