Sell Me Softly

I hate self-promotion. I abhor the soul-crushing humility that asking for help requires of me. Yet, for the last several weeks, I found myself asking strangers, friends, and writers I respect to offer kind words for my upcoming book. Thankfully, many responded with blurbs that now grace the pages and, in one surprising twist, the cover.

A good friend wrote a phenomenal foreword to the book that I don’t deserve. Many of the awkward emails I sent probably languished in spam folders, unseen. The long-shot Instagram direct messages I sent mostly sat unread, much to my chagrin. Thankfully, many people at least replied to say they were too busy and wished me luck with the book. I was just glad to get any response. All in all, I gathered the comments from those who did reply, and I am forever grateful. The book is better now as a result of their kind words. Still, the process sucks, and I hated it.

More recently, I’ve sent emails to various podcasts and other media outlets to try to get the wheels of promotion turning. I have no idea what I’m doing, but I’m applying the DIY spirit of my punk rock past and just figuring it out as I go. I’m thankful for the few podcasts that have graciously had me on as a guest so far and to those scheduled to record soon.

Again, I hate asking for help or favors, and this season is rife with both. I feel like I’m being a burden. It’s as if I’m unworthy of borrowing someone else’s platform for a moment to grow my own, the audacity of it all. Why is it so hard to sell myself?

Don’t get me started on promoting the sales of my book. It’s a nightmare. I hate mixing art and finance. I hate money. I hate asking folks to part with it for some creative venture of mine most of all. But this is how the world works. It’s likely more about the fear of being perceived as not worth the cost.

Book sales are how my publisher can invest time and money into me and the others on their roster. My work is valuable; I need to realize that. Despite it being hard for me to see most of the time, deep down I know what I offer is better than average, and dang it, why shouldn’t I expect it to have a monetary value for the years of work that went into it?

At the end of the day, I’m just proud a publisher took a risk on me. The pre-sales seem to be going well, and if any of the podcasts, bookstores, etc., respond to me about my amateur-hour attempts at promoting this book, maybe more people can discover my work. One can hope. My dream has always been to support my family through my creativity. I’m a long way from that, but this is one step closer. I grow with each completed chapter in this ever-evolving narrative.

There’s just something to be said about the body of creative works I’ve amassed over the years. To date, I’ve written five books and contributed to another five books. So, there are ten books in the world, at least, with my name in them. That’s something to build on! The best is yet to come.

Will this poetry book become my rocket to success and stardom? Absolutely not! But I’m proud as hell of it. I think, if anything, those who read it will come to know me more deeply. Hopefully, it will spark new conversations and show a few folks they’re not alone with how they feel. This book is me laid bare. It’s vulnerable and unflinching. You may hate it. But you’ll feel SOMETHING, and isn’t that the whole point of art?

A Toad In A Glass Jar came out on Wednesday, October 15, 2025. I hope you order a copy. I hope you enjoy it, leave five-star reviews, and flood social media with your experience with it. But guess what? If you don’t, that’s okay too. I’ll still be here. I’ll still keep writing, and likely I’ll be on to the next thing before the dust settles on this one. Ain’t that how it goes with us creative weirdos?

Anyway, thanks for indulging me this week, and if you’ve made it this far, what’s something you’d like to accomplish within the next year? What’s stopping you? How can I help?

Toad in a Glass Jar

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Stan Lake is a writer, photographer, and filmmaker currently living in Bethania, North Carolina with his wife Jess and their house full of animals. He split his time growing up between chasing wildlife and screaming on stages in hardcore bands you’ve never heard of. He has been published by Dead Reckoning Collective, The Havok Journal, Reptiles Magazine, Lethal Minds Journal, and many others. He filmed and directed a documentary called “Hammer Down” about his 2005 deployment in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom in with Alpha Battery 5-113^th of the NC Army National Guard. You can find his books, collected works, and social media accounts at www.stanlakecreates.com

As the Voice of the Veteran Community, The Havok Journal seeks to publish a variety of perspectives on a number of sensitive subjects. Unless specifically noted otherwise, nothing we publish is an official point of view of The Havok Journal or any part of the U.S. government.