Instantly the thoughts rush through my conscious. In a flash, while still groggy from the unexpected call, hoping only to fall back asleep, those words come rushing through my neural networks. They flash from synapsis to synapsis like a rushing roller coaster. These thoughts, these words, create a restless mind. They create a mind that struggles to drift away into slumber. At every break in my sleep, they are there to ambush my consciousness. They are there, preventing me from returning to the sleep I worked so desperately to achieve.
These words are like some alternate reality, some paradox created by my mind. Day in and day out I navigate the world and these words seem to flash through my consciousness. They are like some alternative artistic form to the world around me. My brain seems to process the literal while also crafting a creative perspective to be presented to me for only a moment. Just as quickly as they were there, they are gone. I must capture them in the moment, or I risk them being lost forever. The afterthoughts of retrieval always seem tarnished juxtaposed against the flash of artistic reality in the moment.
Jake Smith is a law enforcement officer and former Army Ranger with four deployments to Afghanistan.
As the Voice of the Veteran Community, The Havok Journal seeks to publish a variety of perspectives on a number of sensitive subjects. Unless specifically noted otherwise, nothing we publish is an official point of view of The Havok Journal or any part of the U.S. government.