Grief

Tears rolling down my cheeks
Curled in fetal position… hiding in my room
My pillow covers the sobs that escape and almost three years later
I hear myself whisper: I MISS YOU
It wasn’t supposed to be this way, victories dimmed by the fact your not here

I so rarely indulge in this feeling, running it off with serving others,
Focus on  others
Powering through the pain and slamming the door on loss and a broken heart

I am overtaken overwhelmed completely undone
Oh God, despite the pain
I still trust you
Then
another set of waves hit
completely drowning me in sorrow
A loved one once told me grief just means you mattered

Knowing that I will survive
You Lord, are the reason I keep going
I want to make you proud

In time
Drowning turns to cleansing
Refreshing will come if I wait… meanwhile? I gasp for air and weep
Then… I feel better

___________________________

For 43 years, Dennis and Diana Nickell shared their lives, passion, and hearts. Dennis, a Vietnam Combat Veteran who dealt daily with the aftermath of his 14 months in-country, spent his later years reaching out to Veterans, their loved ones and tried to help share why you should never give up. Sept, 12th, 2021 Dennis joined his brothers in arms in heaven, who never had the chance to have the life he fought for daily, and his wife Diana still carries on the mission of educating, enlightening, and encouraging those who have paid such a heavy price for freedom. 

Dedicated to ALL, first responders, and heroes, Diana has found peace in the wealth of her family and her faith. The YouTube series Surviving Vietnam can be accessed freely at https://www.survivevietnam.com/

“Quiet Place” first appeared in Breaking Chains, written by Dennis Nickell.

All rights are reserved, for created content shared about their amazing journey, including original poetry by Diana. Feel free to contact Diana at dnickell1955@gmail.com with any questions or concerns.

As the Voice of the Veteran Community, The Havok Journal seeks to publish a variety of perspectives on a number of sensitive subjects. Unless specifically noted otherwise, nothing we publish is an official point of view of The Havok Journal or any part of the U.S. government.