At Home

by Gloria Rose

I awaken.
Sadness and grief greet me.

We’re in a pandemic.
A virus kills people everywhere.
We’re isolated from normality
I’m anxious, lonely…

I need you to lead me Home, Jesus.

Home—that place in my innermost being where I dwell with God, wrapped in His love.
It’s my truest place, for I’m
In the presence of the Creator,
Unchained from lesser dependencies on people, money, government, or my health and strength.

I’m pure being when at Home.
It’s the one place I belong.

In my apartment in Colorado in the United States, on planet earth
I live a bumbling, unpredictable, incomplete experience;
I strive to be secure and wanted if not loved.

I can never be truly at rest,
I can never be filled with a sense of absolute acceptance and complete love,
I can never arrive at a feeling of enough…

If I’m not Home.

Unfortunately, sadness, grief, and fear are the likely forces to yank me into attentiveness to You and openness to be led, once again,

Home.
______________________

This first appeared in The Havok Journal on April 14, 2020.

Gloria Rose is a writer-blogger who lives happily near the Rocky Mountains. Connect with Gloria at www.gloriarose.com