How often do you lose your temper? How do you act when you get angry? If you’re like me you’re an asshole. You say shit you don’t mean. You lower your values and expectations about life. You fail to see the big picture.
How often do we let our anger out on people who don’t deserve it? We engage in conflicts that have little or no bearing on our own life. Our time is too often spent reading and researching, clicking and pasting, but what are we learning? What do we teach our children about the workings of the world? Who are the future leaders we are creating? Evolution is occurring and we better keep up before we bankrupt the reserve of what is left of the warrior class.
Computers which once took rooms to fill now fit in our palms. Within your palms lie the answers. You must use your words to find them. Kids must also learn to navigate the data that now flows freely throughout the world. The constant stream of negative horseshit is often diverting us from what is truly important. How much time do you spend on stolen valor and political bullshit? While we are sorting out the chaos in our head, what access do our kids have? I know what I would have been looking at if I were 12 or 13 and could grab any piece of content freely with one hand. How about you?
I walked into my kid’s room to realize that the constant pitter-patter was that of his little fingers using a controller to explode the heads of fellow combatants in the realms of “modern warfare.” He was probably 6 at the time and first person shooter games had cool commercials. Why wouldn’t I want my son to play characters just like me? See now you can play with a character from daddy’s old unit. I was an idiot.
The idea that a kid could one day use a controller to kill people from home isn’t that far away. When we haven’t learned to cope and we don’t teach our kids to cope, as technology grows, there is a whole new world for possibilities. What they think about they will become. Part of being accountable is realizing they will look. We better have honest answers as to why things are beneficial and how they are not. Kids learn hate in a variety of ways, they overhear your stories, they listen to needless bickering and arguing and they can buy it neatly packaged from Gamestop.
What are we teaching our kids other than target practice? How many of us continue lead the way and by example? I know I have made myself look like a moron more times than I can count. I haven’t always been sure of the example that I have set forth. For years I returned home from work emotionally exhausted. I failed to see the importance of being around because I often saw myself as a source of negativity. I was at one point so low that I thought my kids would be better off without me. We often times don’t intend to mess our kids up but sometimes we have to stop and think. Is what we are doing the best way? Is it the healthiest way? The most fun? Is there room for improvement?
I’m ashamed to admit but up until a few years ago I still thought corporal punishment was ok. I was a sheep. Sure I didn’t “Adrian Peterson” my kids but I used to do stupid shit like pull their hair or smack their hands. I showed no patience. I allowed no child like wonder. What did that teach them? Our kids need us to love them enough to set appropriate boundaries not hammer them into submission. Even if we were drill sergeants- We aren’t anymore.
With research I learned that many people spank their children, even toddlers. It seems senseless to think of huge objects or big strong hands about to hit very small surface areas for breaks in subordination. These are the people we are supposed to love. Our babies. I believe you would be firmly opposed if the government, a neighbor or anyone else spanked your children. You’d probably fear of the negative effect and anger and senselessness. What lasting effect does it cause? Think about it. Children don’t ask to be born to us but they depend upon our thoughts and actions for guidance, reassurance and safety.
Father’s Day, Mother’s Day, whatever, it should be every day. How about this: Accountability Day. This isn’t meant to get down on fathers or any parent for that matter. This serves as a call to action. This journey doesn’t come with a manual and we didn’t ask for PTSD. Most of us don’t fail to know what is right because we lack intelligence. It’s not because we haven’t demonstrated the ability to be a proven learner or a peak performer. We don’t know shit because most of the people before of us didn’t know shit. Just as I know deadbeat dads I know mothers who don’t know anything other than selfies and Campbell’s Soup either. Parenthood is doing what is in the best interest of your children despite the obstacles, regardless of the brand of genitalia.
I say sure enjoy the #1 dad mug, reap the rewards of being with your kiddos today but at the same time remember that it is our job to be the best person we can be every day. It rubs off on our kids and spreads through the world. If you have children and you don’t like what you see in the world, I say inspire change. Don’t waste time. It is not our job to justify shitty behavior by finding further examples of that behavior in a society gone mad. The future of our nation depends upon those that carry a lineage of integrity and ethics. Creating a better world for our children starts with those that come from courage. It starts within you.
This article first appeared in The Havok Journal on 21 June, 2015.