Perceived Distinction or Infamy

When you enter a room, your every action and every word judged not by their realities, but the juxtaposition of the perceived distinction or infamy. No longer a nobody, where every action and word are etched into a blank slate. No longer must they stand or fall on their own merit. Instead, one must compete with false narratives and perceptions. One must fit the mold of infamy or distinction. Every deviation a perplexing reconsideration or twisted validation. 

Such distinction blinds others to one’s flaws. Every action and word taken as truth. Every action and word left unchecked and unchallenged. Others seek to disprove the distinction.  Every action and word must not conform to such distinction. Every action and word must become infamous.

Infamy blinds others to one’s achievements. Every action and word taken as falsity. Every action and word neglected and ignored. It blinds the infamous to achievement. It casts unjust doubt on every action and word. 

I do not want to live in either distinction or infamy. I do not want my actions and words taken as blind truths. I do not want my actions and words to go unchallenged. I do not want my actions and words taken as blind falsities, to be neglected and ignored. I want my every action and word to live in their reality. I want them to be just as they are, right or wrong. I just want to escape the juxtaposition of perceived infamy and distinction. I just want my every action and word to stand and fall on their own merit. 

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This first appeared in The Havok Journal on March 4, 2024.

Jake Smith is a law enforcement officer and former Army Ranger with four deployments to Afghanistan.

As the Voice of the Veteran Community, The Havok Journal seeks to publish a variety of perspectives on a number of sensitive subjects. Unless specifically noted otherwise, nothing we publish is an official point of view of The Havok Journal or any part of the U.S. government.