Every question is met with the litany of evading responses. So often the questions are peripheral, for the chasm is too deep. With each and every evading response, the chasm deepens, and the divisions widen. Every evading response isolates. Every “I cannot talk about it,” “You would not understand,” and the litany of analogous replies only further perplexes the onlooker.
With every evading response, we fail. We fail to create understanding. We fail to explain our actions and reactions. We fail to understand ourselves. We fail to connect. Every evading response perpetuates the pain. Every evaded question another brick laid. With every evading response we isolate ourselves from those who love and care for us. We protect our loved ones from our horrific observations. We fail to understand that their manifestations upon ourselves are thus bestowed upon our loved ones. By protecting others, we torment them with unanswered questions and misunderstood actions.
With every evasive response we deepen the chasm and widen the gap between ourselves and others. Between our actions and explanations. Between the cause and effect. With every evasive response, we fail. We isolate. We perpetuate. With every evasive response we protect others from the horrific realities of the world, but we fail to protect them from ourselves. We fail to protect them from how such horrors effect our actions and words. We fail because we evade. We are misunderstood because we evade. Our relationships fail and we suffer in isolation because we evade.
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Jake Smith is a law enforcement officer and former Army Ranger with four deployments to Afghanistan.
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