That Crackhead and the Lawnmower

by Frank Pauc

This first appeared in Frank’s Blog on April 24, 2016. It is republished here with the author’s permission.

Hans was telling about how, when he was living in the old Texas farmhouse with Tom, they had problems with theft. There was a local druggie who would rip stuff off to support his habit.

Hans said, “There was this crackhead who kept taking things. This idiot came up to the front door one day, trying to sell me back the lawnmower that he just stole from us. I recognized the mower because I had just bought it brand new.”

“So what did you do?” I asked.

“I showed him my gun, and I told him, ‘You get off this property. Leave the lawnmower.'”

“Did that take care of the problem?”

“Not really. He came back one night. We heard him in the yard. Tom and I fired a few shots.”

“Did you get him?”

“No. We never heard a scream or found a body. We talked to the police about it. The cop said we would be within our rights to shoot him. Then the cop said, ‘We won’t shed a tear.'”