By Silvia Buoniconti
What a difficult day. We feel so different from those around us, all those happy people with children the same age our child was, or would have been. Each milestone and holiday, like Mothers Day, Fathers Day, Memorial Day, marks the distance from our child. A distant we count in minutes, hours, days, weeks, months and years.
Mothers Day used to be such a sweet day. Little handmade gifts, cards and drawings. As the kids grew older, breakfast in bed. Tea, more brown water than tea. Eggs that just barely touched the frying pan and warm bread. Oh, it did not matter. Seeing their smiling faces, being so proud to have made mom breakfast in bed.
Mothers Day past . . . a day reserved to celebrate our special bond with our kids.
Mothers Day present . . . a day still reserved to celebrate our special bond with our kids. For this special bond can never be broken.
How we spend Mothers Day is strictly a unique decision made by each Mother, each parent. There are no rules. The choice to embrace or ignore Mother’s Day is yours alone.
On Mothers Day, as I do on every day of the year, I will think of my son, Frank. The child he was. The man he became. I will honor him and my son I still have. Too often the siblings get lost as the focus shifts to the child we lost.
Be gentle to yourself. Make allowances to do whatever makes you most comfortable on that day. Smile at others as they wish you a Happy Mothers Day. They do not know your circumstance. Kindness matters!
This Mothers Day, may you find a memory that brings a smile to your face. Peace be with you all.
Silvia Buoniconti, President, Pikes Peak Gold Star Mothers
Very Proud Mother of CW3 Frank A. Buoniconti [June 2, 1975 – December 12, 2011]
This article first appeared in The Havok Journal on 10MAY15.
Reflection: “To be killed in a war is not the worst that can happen. To be lost is not the worst. To be forgotten is the worst.” Pierre Claeyssens (1909 – 2003)
Resource: Live Your Love Loud
December 12, 2011, two Kiowas crashed into each other in Washington state at Joint Base Lewis-McChord, killing all aboard, including the pilot CW3 Frank Buoniconti. Frank had a heart for the hurting and broken, especially the fatherless. How ironic. Twelve days before Christmas 2011, Kryste Buoniconti told her three children their dad was gone forever. However, Frank’s story did not end there. His love and hope lives on through his legacy.
His widow wrote on her blog, “I was lucky enough to be married to man who had a huge heart, a generous spirit and a fire in his gut for helping others. We made a good team. I cannot sit and do nothing. I cannot only think about myself and my pain, my loss, my broken-heartedness. I have to DO something.” Eight months after Frank’s death, Kryste formed a non-profit “Live Your Love Loud.” Live Your Love Loud is a non-profit organization providing grants to adopting military families and to help provide funds for humanitarian projects globally.