By Hugh Jashol, for Article 107 News* There are many immutable laws in the universe. Gravity pulls downward. The sun rises in the east. And if a Continue Reading
Greenland Launches Pre-Emptive Strike Against the U.S. With… Weather?
By Hugh Jashol, Article 107 News* In an unprecedented act of meteorological hostility, the Government of Greenland has officially declared war on Continue Reading
Greenland Prepares Unconventional “Legos and Hotties” Defense Against Potential US Takeover
By Hugh Jashol, for Article 107 News* GREENLAND—As Washington continues to generate loud, confusing, and highly speculative noise about “taking Continue Reading
Americans Shocked That They Now Can’t Travel to African Countries They’ve Never Heard Of
By Hugh Jashol, Foreign Affairs Correspondent, Article 107 News* WASHINGTON, D.C. — The United States government has issued a Level Zero Travel Continue Reading
Greenland To Be Re-Named “Mar-A-Igloo” On Official US Maps
By Hugh Jashol for Article 107 News* WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a bold cartographic maneuver that experts are calling “technically impossible but Continue Reading
Breaking News: Entire American Population Achieves Full Certification in Police Use of Force
by Hugh Jashol, for Article 107 News* Somewhere between the slow-motion replay on cable news and the third thread posted by a guy whose profile Continue Reading
Pentagon Announces “Operation Awesome Flex” After China’s Big Military Drill
FORT BRAGG, NC — In response to China’s latest blockbuster military exercises dubbed Justice Mission 2025 — a live-fire extravaganza around Taiwan Continue Reading
Army Perplexed as Hundreds of Junior Enlisted Troops Suddenly Open Daycare Centers
By Hugh Jashol, Founding Member, E4 Mafia FORT EVERYWHERE, USA — In a development that stunned military commanders, government auditors, and Continue Reading
Government Reopens Just in Time to Pretend it Never Really Closed
By Tammy Pondsmith, Senior Correspondent, Article 107 News(We report the facts before they happen so your disappointment never falls behind Continue Reading
Sanctuary Cities Batteries Not Included
By Tammy Pondsmith, Senior Correspondent, Article 107 News (we report the facts before they happen so you can skip the apology tour later) Author's Continue Reading
Sanctuary Cities: Compassion, but with a Zoning Code
by Tammy Pondsmith, Senior Correspondent at Article 107 News On the corner of 8th and Somewhere, a hand-painted sign on a church reads: “All are Continue Reading
The Kingdom of Feelings Has No Clothes
by Tammy Pondsmith There they were again last weekend: the No Kings crowd, out in full regalia, chanting their feelings about tyranny while Continue Reading