By Hugh Jashol, Article 107 News*Article 107 News — Because Someone Has to Keep Score In a stunning twist that has NHL fans, diplomats, and Continue Reading
Florida Cold Snap Triggers Emergency Response for Falling Iguanas
By Untactic Al Florida officials confirmed this week that an unexpected cold snap has caused thousands of iguanas to temporarily lose their grip on Continue Reading
For Marines, Gear Adrift Is “Gear a-Gift”
By Hugh Jashol, for Article 107 News* There are many immutable laws in the universe. Gravity pulls downward. The sun rises in the east. And if a Continue Reading
Greenland Launches Pre-Emptive Strike Against the U.S. With… Weather?
By Hugh Jashol, Article 107 News* In an unprecedented act of meteorological hostility, the Government of Greenland has officially declared war on Continue Reading
Greenland Prepares Unconventional “Legos and Hotties” Defense Against Potential US Takeover
By Hugh Jashol, for Article 107 News* GREENLAND—As Washington continues to generate loud, confusing, and highly speculative noise about “taking Continue Reading
Americans Shocked That They Now Can’t Travel to African Countries They’ve Never Heard Of
By Hugh Jashol, Foreign Affairs Correspondent, Article 107 News* WASHINGTON, D.C. — The United States government has issued a Level Zero Travel Continue Reading
Greenland To Be Re-Named “Mar-A-Igloo” On Official US Maps
By Hugh Jashol for Article 107 News* WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a bold cartographic maneuver that experts are calling “technically impossible but Continue Reading
Breaking News: Entire American Population Achieves Full Certification in Police Use of Force
by Hugh Jashol, for Article 107 News* Somewhere between the slow-motion replay on cable news and the third thread posted by a guy whose profile Continue Reading
Pentagon Announces “Operation Awesome Flex” After China’s Big Military Drill
FORT BRAGG, NC — In response to China’s latest blockbuster military exercises dubbed Justice Mission 2025 — a live-fire extravaganza around Taiwan Continue Reading
Army Perplexed as Hundreds of Junior Enlisted Troops Suddenly Open Daycare Centers
By Hugh Jashol, Founding Member, E4 Mafia FORT EVERYWHERE, USA — In a development that stunned military commanders, government auditors, and Continue Reading
Government Reopens Just in Time to Pretend it Never Really Closed
By Tammy Pondsmith, Senior Correspondent, Article 107 News(We report the facts before they happen so your disappointment never falls behind Continue Reading
Sanctuary Cities Batteries Not Included
By Tammy Pondsmith, Senior Correspondent, Article 107 News (we report the facts before they happen so you can skip the apology tour later) Author's Continue Reading