My Words

My words, these writings, are one of my greatest treasures. They are the truest pieces of me. I share only out of a sense of obligation and desire for acceptance. To know I am not alone. To share it to connect. If the world were to bury me before my time, who would care? What fate would be upon these words? Would these words be lost to time, the countless muses of a forgotten warrior? Would these words arrive at the feet of the family left behind? Would they be the discovery of an unknown me? A me they were too scared to ask about? A me riddled and scared with the life so few know?

These words are the me I wished I could have shared with those who were supposed to care the most. The family of biology. The family who never asked for fear of the answers. The family who ignored the ugly truth, the pain, the suffering, and all the beauty that resulted. Am I destined to be another warrior forgotten and misunderstood by everyone but the forgotten and misunderstood? The warrior who thrives on the acceptance of those beyond biology? The family not of pedigree but of suffering. The family chosen, not given.

U.S. Marine Lance Cpl. Devin Deweerdt, a mortarman with 3rd Platoon, Kilo Company, 3rd Battalion, 3rd Marine Regiment, writes his wife a letter in his sleeping area after a day of work at Patrol Base Bury, a tiny base contained by concertina wire and giant Hesco barriers, is the humble home of 3rd Platoon Marines during their seven-month deployment to Helmand province at Garmsir District, Afghanistan Feb 26, 2012. Source.

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This first appeared in The Havok Journal on April 11, 2023.

Jake Smith is a law enforcement officer and former Army Ranger with four deployments to Afghanistan.

As the Voice of the Veteran Community, The Havok Journal seeks to publish a variety of perspectives on a number of sensitive subjects. Unless specifically noted otherwise, nothing we publish is an official point of view of The Havok Journal or any part of the U.S. government.