Sly Fox Saw 2025 Coming and We Didn’t Listen

by Tammy Pondsmith, Article 107 News

Back in 1985, Sly Fox dropped Let’s Go All the Way, a pop-funk track so catchy you could two-step right past the fact that it was basically a Trojan horse of social criticism. We all just bopped along, blissfully ignoring that they were telling us, in no uncertain terms, “Hey folks, the world’s on fire, and you’re dancing in the gasoline.”

Fast-forward to 2025 and congratulations — we’ve gone all the way. The wealth gap’s now a canyon, and housing costs make Monopoly money look realistic. Politicians still promise change, but only in the form of new merch drops. And Big Tech? Oh, they’ve perfected the art of monetizing your every thought while simultaneously lecturing you about your “digital well-being.”

Sly Fox sang about war and destruction like they were the weather — and now, thanks to your news feed, they basically are. Every headline’s a mix of apocalypse updates, celebrity gossip, and sponsored content for mattresses you can finance at 27% APR.

The song hinted at environmental ruin too, back when “climate change” was something you only heard from that one guy at the party nobody invited twice. Now we get hurricanes named like they’re brunch cocktails, and oil companies releasing ads about how much they care — in high definition, with soothing piano.

And here’s the punchline: we still dance to the beat while the walls close in. Social media keeps us scrolling, politicians keep us divided, and corporate overlords keep us convinced that buying another limited-edition sneaker is somehow activism.

Sly Fox didn’t just write a song — they wrote the soundtrack for a society that would rather groove than deal. We were warned. We just liked the bassline too much.

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Tammy Pondsmith is a fearless chronicler of humanity’s most avoidable mistakes, specializing in pointing out the obvious with enough wit to make you laugh before you realize you’ve been insulted.

*Article 107 of the military’s Uniform Code of Military Justice covers “False Official Statements.” As our name implies, we are a satirical news site, and you shouldn’t think anything we publish is real. You should, however, mercilessly mock anyone who does. Yeah, laying off of the news cycle is probably pretty smart, but you also need to put down the cigarettes and the Red Bull there, Sparky.