When Vets Just Know

My son Hans called me a couple days ago. He lives down in Texas, near Madisonville—which means he doesn’t live near much of anything. Anyway, he started telling me about how he went into Brookshire Brothers to buy some groceries. A couple of old boys from the VFW were sitting at the front entrance of the store, taking donations and handing out little American flags.

Hans said, “Dad, I wasn’t wearing anything that said ‘Army’ on it, but this old vet—probably from WWII—hands me a flag and says, ‘Thank you for your service.’ How did this old boy know I was a vet?”

I replied, “You just look like a vet. A person can tell.”

Hans went on, “The old guy asked me where I was sent. I told him, ‘Iraq.’”

(Note: Hans always pronounces “Iraq” as “Eye-rak.”)

Hans continued, “The old guy nodded and said, ‘I figured that.’”

Hans kept talking. He’s been thinking about maybe joining the American Legion someday. He mentioned that the local post has a bar. That does not surprise me at all. In a place like that, I imagine the bar would be the very first thing to get set up.

Hans said, “I don’t need to talk with the other vets. I don’t really want to. It would be nice just to sit around with them, listen to music, and have a couple beers.”

That makes total sense to me. Hans doesn’t want group therapy. He wants to be with his tribe. The point of joining a group like the American Legion or the VFW is to be with other people who “get it.” Hans—or any other vet—could mingle with the other members of the post and not need to explain their military experiences.

In fact, it might be less painful for Hans if he didn’t talk about what happened to him in Iraq. He could trust that the other veterans would understand his history without him saying a word. And if Hans ever did want to talk, he could trust that somebody at the post would be willing to listen—and not judge him. He would be with his comrades.

Hans was in Iraq back in 2011. He’s had some time for the wounds to heal. He’s had some time for the trauma to fade. Maybe now is the time for him to reengage with other vets. I don’t know. I think it might help.

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Frank (Francis) Pauc is a graduate of West Point, Class of 1980. He completed the Military Intelligence Basic Course at Fort Huachuca and then went to Flight School at Fort Rucker. Frank was stationed with the 3rd Armor Division in West Germany at Fliegerhorst Airfield from December 1981 to January 1985. He flew Hueys and Black Hawks and was next assigned to the 7th Infantry Division at Fort Ord, CA. He got the hell out of the Army in August 1986.

As the Voice of the Veteran Community, The Havok Journal seeks to publish a variety of perspectives on a number of sensitive subjects. Unless specifically noted otherwise, nothing we publish is an official point of view of The Havok Journal or any part of the U.S. government.