I Had A Lover Once

War was my lover, once.

She allured me, slowly and cunningly

Whispers of foreign lands, dreams of glory, brotherhood, and valor

I had a lover once

She promised me that the sacrifice would prove worthy

That my struggle would be richly rewarded

The thrill of the idea of Her

Drew me in

I had a lover, once

All other joys paled in comparison to her

The ecstasy of teetering between life and death

War was everything she promised, and more

I craved her when she was absent

Yet I resented her when she was near

War, was my lover once

The dreams began to crumble in the wake of desolation

The passion of her joys faded-

Faded in harmony with the world burning

Bitterness replaced the craving of her sweetness

Once, I had a lover. Her name was War

She left wounds that will never heal

Scars that will forever ache and burn

Pain that colors each day of existence

And a heart, missing pieces on pieces on pieces

I know now, what I did not then:

War is love and hate

One cannot exist without the other

___________________________

This first appeared in The Havok Journal on August 13, 2024.

As the Voice of the Veteran Community, The Havok Journal seeks to publish a variety of perspectives on a number of sensitive subjects. Unless specifically noted otherwise, nothing we publish is an official point of view of The Havok Journal or any part of the U.S. government.