Apparently, the Planet Uranus Smells…Exactly Like You Think It Would

Apparently, the Planet Uranus Smells…Exactly Like You Think It Would
by Scott Faith

According to recently-released scientific analysis, the planet Uranus smells… well, I’ll let the scientists explain it:

“If an unfortunate human were ever to descend through Uranus’ clouds, they would be met with very unpleasant and odiferous conditions,” the article explained. For those of us who are not egg head scientists, that translates to, “Smells like ass up there, bro.”

That makes sense. I mean, it would seem somewhat incongruent if “Uranus” smelled like roses or something. The only time that kind of thing makes sense is in an Outkast video.

https://youtu.be/gWju37TZfo0?t=113

At any rate, the exact smelliness of the planet has yet to be determined. No word yet if it’s the physically debilitating “fart inside an up-armored Hummer driving down Route Irish after two weeks of eating MREs” rancid stench, or the much more moderate “damn, someone burned the popcorn in the microwave” smell. I guess President Trump’s new “Space Force” will have to make that determination.

This article first appeared in The Havok Journal 1 July 2018.