Editor's Note: Yes, we have to say this: the “medical advice” in this piece is satire. Do not attempt any of it, unless your long-term plan involves a Continue Reading
satire/humor
Greenland Prepares Unconventional “Legos and Hotties” Defense Against Potential US Takeover
By Hugh Jashol, for Article 107 News* GREENLAND—As Washington continues to generate loud, confusing, and highly speculative noise about “taking Continue Reading
Americans Shocked That They Now Can’t Travel to African Countries They’ve Never Heard Of
By Hugh Jashol, Foreign Affairs Correspondent, Article 107 News* WASHINGTON, D.C. — The United States government has issued a Level Zero Travel Continue Reading
Greenland To Be Re-Named “Mar-A-Igloo” On Official US Maps
By Hugh Jashol for Article 107 News* WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a bold cartographic maneuver that experts are calling “technically impossible but Continue Reading
Breaking News: Entire American Population Achieves Full Certification in Police Use of Force
by Hugh Jashol, for Article 107 News* Somewhere between the slow-motion replay on cable news and the third thread posted by a guy whose profile Continue Reading
Pentagon Announces “Operation Awesome Flex” After China’s Big Military Drill
FORT BRAGG, NC — In response to China’s latest blockbuster military exercises dubbed Justice Mission 2025 — a live-fire extravaganza around Taiwan Continue Reading
Army Perplexed as Hundreds of Junior Enlisted Troops Suddenly Open Daycare Centers
By Hugh Jashol, Founding Member, E4 Mafia FORT EVERYWHERE, USA — In a development that stunned military commanders, government auditors, and Continue Reading
January is a Performance Review for Your Fantasy Self
By Tammy Pondsmith, Senior Correspondent, Article 107 News (Reporting on the facts before they happen) It’s December 31st again: the night we Continue Reading
When Identity Becomes the Remote Control
America loves categories. We invented the filing cabinet, the “medium” soda, and the comforting lie that if you put a label on something, you’ve Continue Reading
Your Outrage Has Been Approved by Our Sponsors
By Tammy Pondsmith, Senior Correspondent, Article 107 News — reporting on the facts before they happen Here’s tomorrow’s breaking news, today: a Continue Reading
America, Brought to You by Our Sponsors
Over the last decade, American news outlets have pulled off a miracle of modern engineering: they turned what was supposed to be a public service into Continue Reading
Government Reopens Just in Time to Pretend it Never Really Closed
By Tammy Pondsmith, Senior Correspondent, Article 107 News(We report the facts before they happen so your disappointment never falls behind Continue Reading