Surrender: A Catalyst for Hope and Faith

Recently I had the opportunity to travel to Belize on a church humanitarian mission. Participating on a mission trip was the next logical evolution for my spiritual growth as a devoted member of my church and as follower of the way of Christ. In the past four years I have become a member of my church, attended three leadership steps-of-faith training and led my own small group, Deployed Disciples; focused on sponsoring deploying military units from Fort Liberty while on their deployments downrange. The recent mission opportunity presented itself back in January and by the grace of God, everything panned out perfectly. Just as Jesus sent out his disciples, two by two (Mark 6:7), I felt compelled to live the same experience of Service-To-Others towards my fellow man by providing the means to clean healthy water while delivering the Good News of hope in this world of suffering.

It is important that I tell this story since being back because there were a whole lot of truth nuggets revealed that I feel obligated to share. I also promised after I returned I would revisit for a sequel to my previous article on the topic of water; We’re on a Mission: Filter of Hope Program.

Starting from the beginning, the trip roster consisted of four couples, myself and five other solo little Christ followers. We met once a month to prepare for the upcoming trip while learning about the basics of the country, the details and installation of the water filters we would be distributing while in country and sharing the Gospel messages we intended to impart to those we would visit. These meetings proved to be productive and essentially prepared us for the weeklong mission to Belize.

Once we arrived in-country, we stayed at a nice chateau just north of Belize City. The lodging was contracted by the Filter of Hope program to include our meals, prepared on premises by their own cooking staff, including breakfast, lunch and dinner. The food was amazing, fresh and prepared with local ingredients.

Going forward, I am going to compare/contrast this article to an overseas deployment; fore, that is what it truly felt like for myself; minus bullets and IEDs. There will be a significance to this comparison towards the end that I want to highlight as one of my most inciteful revelations on the trip, so please be patient and enjoy the process.

Every morning, I woke up at 5:00 a.m. and strolled out to the ocean shore to watch the sunrise. On three of the mornings, I climbed upon an elevated deck and commenced in a sun salutation yoga session for an early morning energy release and then meditated by the lapping waves of the Gulf in a hammock. After these 45 minute sessions, I would stroll over to the cantina and grab my first cup of coffee. This usually led to a couple more cups during breakfast and then as a group we would form together for our mission pre-brief and enjoy worship to get us into the spirit.

Shortly thereafter we were out the gate in a black ford 15 PAX van by around nine o’clock heading towards a local church that Filter of Hope had precoordinated with before our arrival in country.

Belize is a flat, but beautiful country. But let’s be abundantly real here, there is the Belize you see on Google Images with gorgeous clear blue water, the world’s second largest barrier reef and the tourist-laden, off-shore islands called “Cays;”with their over-priced hotel chains. This is what I referred to as “The Illusion.” And then there is the Belize we traveled into, where the water was not so clear without the Belizean government dumping chlorine in to provide “clean” water for the resident’s faucets in less than extravagant Cays living conditions. This was what I referred to as “The Reality.”

As veterans that have deployed, we all saw these exact living conditions quite often downrange; making unfair comparisons to our own conditions back in the States. It is not a fair practice to by any means, but it is just what we had for comparison. And that perspective is what made us appreciate what we have back home more and more after every deployment. It is the fundamental key that is missing in 99% of the American population’s perspective today; the opportunity to go somewhere and experience “different” to then give appreciation, gratitude and honor for what we do have here at home.” But enough soapboxing for now.

As we broke off into our three or four-man teams, we were getting the dose of reality that some in the group were not prepared for. Some of the Belizean family members suffered crippling illnesses or injuries. And some had truly lost hope after losing a family member in recent past. It was fertile ground for darkness to dwell in and feed off the lives of hopeless souls. And that is where we came in. Throughout the trip, many a tear was shed in our heartfelt sympathies and compassion.

In my team specifically, we found our groove fairly quick since we were all retired Army veterans. I, the nerdy engineer type took upon the role of demonstrating the installation, usage and maintenance of the $50 water filter kit. That was my jam! I enjoyed seeing the resident’s eyes light up when I would dump dirt from their front yard into the five gallon bucket of clean, but heavily chlorinated, water from their faucet, stir it up a bit, and then let the water run clean from the filter into a clear dixie cup and then take a drink of it unflinchingly!

The filter is a really great piece of kit, something one could use in lieu of packing an MSR filter, for example, on an extended hike or in an austere theater operation. Seen here in the picture below is an example of how I got creative before the trip to proof-of-concept an idea I had for installation on a Nalgene bottle; filter water into another Nalgene bottle and then packed the entire set up away in the dirty donor bottle. I’ll definitely be using this set up sometime in the future on my own adventures for sure!

My two other trusty teammates have become great friends since I started my church small group, Deployed Disciples, a few years back. They really brought the ministry message to life while using the 5-gallon bucket of dirty water to represent our lives in sin, the blue tube representing the connection to Christ through prayer, the bible and the community/church to ultimately the filter; our man Jesus! The clean, filtered water in the cup would represent a Godly way of eternal life that we are all promised through our repentance of sin and our acceptance of Jesus the Christ. Using the before and after cups of water, the one with the dirt as our life in sin and the clean one representing the conscious choice to seek out Christ as we repent from our distracted lives ultimately becomes a pure way to enjoy our promised eternal life living with God. To drive the message home, you can always pour clean water (good deeds/attending church) into the dirty cup, but it doesn’t make a bit of difference unless you are fully connected to God.

My personal favorite of the Gospels and Red Letters of Jesus; Matthew 7:21-23;

21“Not everyone who says to me “Lord, Lord,” will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. 22Many will say to me on that day, “Lord, Lord” did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and your name perform many miracles? 23Then I will tell them plainly, “I never knew you. Away from me you evildoers.”

I don’t know about you, but if I go through this entire lifetime without creating a relationship back with God and for him to ultimately tell me to go away from him once it’s all finished, for I had wasted my time here either distracted by sin of doing good deeds without simply and genuinely knowing him, well, I can’t tell you how much suffering I can truly imagine for myself then. For an opportunity wasted here and now in this lifetime, to remember my Creator, only means having to revisit the lesson in another lifetime. The ultimate lesson: Grow here and now to establish a healthy practice of devotion to Him to finally go home and rest later.

Personally, I love these messages and analogies we were able to introduce from some of the passages in the Gospels. Where I shined was also connecting on the mystical, spiritual level to some of the residents that understood the Bible but obviously had sought deeper, mystical knowledge too. I remember listening to one lady and just saw the awakened spirit from within her eyes. I gave her a big authentic hug before we left and told her “I saw her” that day. She understood more than just what the Bible gives a person from an outside perspective, because she had obviously undergone some major experiences in her life and truly fostered her own inward Godly connection as well. The God we seek is truly within us and cannot be found outside of us. She was grounded, beautiful and fully awakened.

By the end of the second day during our After Action Review, I had a profound epiphany that I had to share with the group when it was my turn. In short, I told them that what we were doing in Belize was no different than what the Service Member does downrange, except for the little annoyances like getting shot at or blown up while patrolling into sector! And I said instead of trying to “win the hearts and minds of the local nationals by selling our version of freedom and democracy, we are here now selling the good news of Christ by, with and through ministry and humanitarian aid.” I underlined that this was significant because as a church located at the “Center of the Universe; Fort Liberty,” I hoped that this gave them a small appreciation of what our brave Service Members do every day when we rolled out of our little seaside compound gate. I was proud of the whole team for showing up and volunteering for this mission, just like my old bubbas from the platoons.

Later the next evening after another day of mission, this revelation had grown its wings and again I had to share it with the group.

I said;

“As a church located in Fayetteville, with its amazing outreach to our military brothers & siters along with Manna Church’s vision of planting church sites at all the 273 military sites along the “Military Highway,” it would be amazing to see both Manna and Filter of Hope host a mission trip similar to this one here in Belize, where the country’s low security threat conditions and appetite for our presence is inviting to a group of military Veterans and transitioning Service Members a means to immerse them in a capacity to provide the same assistance we are providing through water filters and ministry, but additionally and more importantly, to process and close a chapter left open due to unhealed traumas. This would be a chance to serve again but through therapeutic means and work through and process their traumas while finding closure they desperately need to move on in their lives. I know for myself, I would deploy for 3, 9, 12 months to a location, operate, redeploy and never experience closure. Then, when I would see on the news that ISIS or the Taliban completely took over the country or worse, we handed the country back to the enemy through a botched withdrawal. Redeploying home after a deployment never provided me an opportunity to experience the fruits of my labors; to see and feel success for all we sacrificed for.

But here, after leaving a resident’s house here, I am seeing an immediate and direct impact on the family; a future for them to have quality water and a connection back to their local church. Clean water and spirituality are two things personally near and dear to my heart and to see them both installed in the families lives before I leave, I feel a sense of accomplishment that I never got leaving a patrol base at zero-dark-thirty after a multi-day operation in sector. That is something many Service Members, from any war, are usually missing that causes trouble for them years or decades later for the rest of their lives. The aching question and wondering whether it was all worth it is often is a looming question in a unhealed Service Member’s mind; especially one suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Injury (PTSI) or from losing a battle buddy. An organized trip of Service Members accompanied with a liaison from Filter of Hope, Manna Church volunteers and even a professional licensed therapist for one-on-one counseling debriefs after the mission day would work miracles for all involved.”

And here is the part where I advocate for our brothers and sisters suffering from that lack of closure; My ladies and gents, a humanitarian mission trip is a wonderful opportunity to work in a Service-To-Others capacity. We thrive in situations like this. I personally came alive when I would show up at a house, drop my ruck, break out a filter kit, start to work on installation, demonstrate the system, build rapport and trust and best yet simply handing out Dum-Dum lollipops to all the crazy, laughing kids. It was like going into a village as a small Civil Affairs Team, developing relationships and collecting demographic metrics for their local church in order to maintain a connection after we left. All the components of the “good stuff” we did over there was abundant without all the stress and anxiety of someone rounding the corner and shooting at you. These are the deployments we all went on except a Filter of Hope mission trip is one set on “Easy Mode.” And even if you are like me and don’t know the Bible inside and out to use for the ministry message, just being in a small team and finding your niche for the mission, you’ll pick up Bible chapters and verses that make so much sense that we could all use in our daily lives that just being present makes a profound difference in your life. The Holy Spirit truly moves!

So, for our measure of success during the trip: Each team averaged about four houses per day. We did a lot of walking and drank a lot of filtered water in those four days. It averaged around 90 degrees daily with crazy humidity during our May trip. Final stats for the team were: 57 filters distributed, 94 people we shared the Gospel with and 31 deciding to receive Christ as the embodiment of how we should all choose to live our lives. Pretty impactful for a small team of Agents of the Kingdom of God to work by, with and through the Holy Spirit!

Just one last story before I close, and this one was very impactful for me. I had to share with our group the first night we got back from mission during our AAR which set us all up nicely moving forward into our week.

The first day we drove out to a church in the town of Barrel Boom, just about 45 minutes from Belize City. We pushed out around 10:00 that morning and my small team met a family; a Grandmother with four grandkids. Initially, the grandmother and her granddaughter were the only ones we were visiting with in her humble living room, installing and demonstrating the filter. But as I turned the attention and presentation over to my teammates for the ministry part, the Grandmother asked us to pause for a second and rallied up the grandsons to come out of their rooms to listen to the ministry message. Attentively listening, the young boys and the granddaughter were deeply enthralled. Once finished, the Grandmother having been moved as well, said that it had been a very long time since they had attended church. Before we left and said our goodbyes, we reminded her that there was a church service at the sponsoring church that evening. Riding the high from the visit, our team went back to the church invigorated and lifted up for lunch. We then went back to the chateau to change for the evening’s church service.

When we arrived back at the church for service later around 6:00 that evening, the whole family was there, all dressed up and smiling; visiting with longtime friends not seen in a while. We invited them to sit with us and we all commenced into worship; singing local and popular worship songs like this one, which became the trip’s theme song!

Once time for the sermon came around, the pastor delivered a heart-felt, special message for our whole team. To abbreviate, it was focused on Spiritual Warfare. He said that Satan was essentially going to be irritated, mad and vengeful towards a bunch of outsiders coming into his territory; spreading hope and the Good News in a place he felt like he had a grip upon; using crime, alcohol and drug abuse, unemployment, plight and suffering as tools of sin. That there would be a target squarely fixed upon our backs during our mission and that he would make every attempt to stop us in our tracks and from making any progress in the town’s residents that lived there.

Immediately, my mind summarized in terms I could really grasp, and it was so profound. As the service ended I made a point to go up to the pastor and shake his hand, from one brother to another and share with him the message I received; that it was so loud and clear. And here was the revelation I shared with him;

I said;

“Sir, thank you for the message tonight, for both our team and for your parishioners-it was powerful. And upon leaving here tonight I can do one of three things this week:

1. I can be prideful- “Oh look at me and all the good works I am doing here in Belize for others, I am so great and righteous; just look at me!” The devil (ego) would love for me to be so bold and arrogant.
2. Or I could also leave here steeped in anxiety; fearful to not do any of my good deeds because I worry that Satan is going to come after me!” Oh, the devil (ego) would love for me to just standby, do nothing and to use it against me; to make me feel weak and ineffective.
3. But I am going to choose to just fully surrender and accept to work courageously because I know I have a solid relationship with God, my Creator, and that no weapon on Earth can I carry will ever be strong enough to fight a battle with Satan myself. But it is my trust and faith in God that shields me with a coat of armor against all enemies that stand before me. Fore, if I just surrender and allow God to fight those battles, then I can truly work miracles in his favor.

The pastor smiled and said, “So powerful and thank you brother. I will carry that message home with me tonight.” I gave him a bro-hug and we parted our ways. Both of our missions complete that night; my team and I connected a family of five back to the local church and he provided the spiritual sustenance we needed to shield our group for the rest of the mission.

I want to leave it here on this note, with the three revelations I realized, carried through the rest of the week and having returned safely back home;

We can all live in pride and work for our own egos, burning bridges of relationships and opportunities while blindly trampling through the muck and mire of life. We can be afraid to even jump at an opportunity, fearful to shine our internal lights to others through our inner love, empathy and non-judgement. Or, we can just simply turn around, get out of our own damn way to reestablish our true connection with God the Creator, the one true Source that only wants us to come back into loving relationship and find surrender to the very things created by our own lack and doubt that keep us in suffering.

Life is all about choices, changes and challenges.

We make choices;

That lead to changes;

That present us challenges;

In order for us to ultimately make more choices.

It’s why we’re here. We are mighty, little creators!

But finding and maintaining a relationship with our Creator and living by natural law is what Christ Consciousness is all about. It is something that I think more and more folks are starting to realize with our own real eyes. Sin is what deafens and blinds us from the glorious miracles happening around us all the time. Turning away from worldly sin and recklessly chasing the connection back to God through honest, faithful devotion is the stuff that heavenly stories are made of.

I found my “Surrender” on a mission trip in beautiful Belize; through both the illusion and reality. Whatever means you find your surrender during this life through, I see you dear brother and sister. Let your light shine and may your eternal waters run clean and clear through a Godly filter of hope.

My parting mantra: I surrender to the Holy Spirit, for it earnestly holds eternal greatness for all that believe.

To find out more or donate to the Filter of Hope program, please visit:  https://filterofhope.org/community-of-hope

To find out more or donate to Manna Church Missions & Outreach please visit:

https://mannachurch.managedmissions.com/OurTrips

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This first appeared in The Havok Journal on May 24, 2024.

Robb is a retired active Army veteran of 21 years, primarily serving as a Cavalry Scout. Having accomplished multiple combat tours, diverse global assignments and leadership roles, Robb retired as a First Sergeant of Shadow Troop, 1-33 CAV (Rakassans). From there, Robb went on to attempt his luck in the civilian sector as a Reliability Engineer at an international paper processing company during the pandemic. Not quite satisfied and feeling the draw to serve once again, Robb made his way back behind the gate working with some of the nation’s tip of spear warfighters on Fort Liberty, NC.

It was during this time that he was drawn into an esoteric spiritual journey of self-discovery and began peeling back the onion of how vanquishing spiritual warfare can serve as a personal force multiplier. Dropping all ties to dogmatic religious principles, Robb solely embarked into studies of the mystical and metaphysical for the answers of life. Now forged with this newfound purpose, Robb blends his current path of spiritual ascension along with his past experience of the rigors of military service in order to uplift the future of his brothers and sisters in arms.

“The answers we all seek lie in potential.”

As the Voice of the Veteran Community, The Havok Journal seeks to publish a variety of perspectives on a number of sensitive subjects. Unless specifically noted otherwise, nothing we publish is an official point of view of The Havok Journal or any part of the U.S. government.