The Tyranny of Absolutes: Why the Right vs. Wrong Mentality is Tearing Us Apart

In today’s world, polarization has become the norm. It seems that on almost every issue, we’re expected to take a hard stance—you’re either for something or against it, and there’s no room for nuance. The need to choose sides has overshadowed the idea that there could be a middle ground or multiple perspectives. This pervasive “right or wrong” mentality has seeped into nearly every aspect of society, from politics to personal beliefs, creating division and fostering an environment where understanding and dialogue are increasingly rare.

We often hear people talk about “objective reality,” but the truth is, there is no such thing. The only reality we truly know is our own lived experience, and even that is deeply personal and unique. What feels objective to me—how I see the world and how I experience situations—is only true for me. Your experience, on the other hand, is just as true for you but subjective to everyone else. And that’s the point: our experiences aren’t wrong or right; they just are.

In this world, where perspectives differ as widely as the people who hold them, the goal isn’t to find agreement or disagreement. After all, how can we disagree with someone else’s lived experience? It’s not possible. We need to shift our thinking and realize that each of us has a different reality. We should work toward understanding and collaboration instead of tearing others down because their view doesn’t align with ours.

There are no true “shared experiences”—only shared environments. We can be in the same space, going through the same situations, but each of us will experience them differently. Our personal histories, values, and life courses have led us to see the world in distinct ways, shaping our unique realities. And that’s not a problem—it’s just how we are as humans.

So, what do we do with this? How do we move forward when our realities don’t align? The answer is not to force agreement but to strive for compatibility. Where we can, we should be open to seeing the world from another’s viewpoint, to acquiesce when possible. And when we can’t, that’s okay too. We must accept that someone’s reality may not be part of our experience, but it’s still valid to them.

This way of thinking requires humility and curiosity. If we find ourselves offended, hurt, or frustrated, the real question to ask is “Why?” Why does someone else’s viewpoint cause that reaction? It’s not about one person being right or wrong—it’s about exploring where that tension comes from. Can we learn from it? Can we collaborate despite it?

The key is self-reflection. We must constantly evaluate our own reactions and question why we see things the way we do. Is it because we’re holding on too tightly to our version of reality? Can we let go of that need to be validated by others’ agreement and instead focus on working together?

Human beings are complex. Our experiences are varied, our paths unique. But the goal should always be to find understanding, seek collaboration, and foster compatibility. We don’t need to tear each other down because our realities don’t match. Instead, we need to recognize that everyone’s reality is valid and that the power lies in how we work together to navigate the world as it is—beautifully different for each of us.

_______________________________

JC Glick serves as the Chief Executive Officer of The COMMIT Foundation. JC brings with him a wealth of experience as a leadership consultant and career Army officer and is driven by a deep commitment to supporting veterans in their transition journey. Since transitioning from 20 years of military service in 2015, JC has been a founder and partner of two leadership companies, where his clients included Fortune 500 companies, international non-profit organizations, government agencies, the NFL, numerous NFL and NBA teams, and multiple NCAA programs.

Over the course of his Army career, JC spent over seven years in the Ranger regiment, serving in two Ranger Battalions as well as Regimental Headquarters, participating in the Best Ranger Competition twice, and has over seven and a half years of command time with 11 operational and combat deployments to Haiti, Bangladesh, Iraq, and Afghanistan. JC is the author of two books, including A Light in the Darkness: Leadership Development for the Unknown. In 2017, he was selected as a TEDX Speaker and delivered Rethinking Leadership at TEDX Hammond. JC is also an adjunct professor at St. John’s University in Queens, New York. He holds a degree in Political Science from the University of Rhode Island and is a Liberty Fellow, part of the Aspen Institute.

As the Voice of the Veteran Community, The Havok Journal seeks to publish a variety of perspectives on a number of sensitive subjects. Unless specifically noted otherwise, nothing we publish is an official point of view of The Havok Journal or any part of the U.S. government.