‘Tis the Season to Care: A Call for Kindness to Ourselves and Others

“It’s the season” to be a lot of things. There’s enough out there for everyone, though we didn’t try to shop over the Thanksgiving weekend—not even on the internet. But I thought it’s also a good time to think and write about empathy and kindness. After mulling over things and pacing up and down the hall outside my man-cave, I decided to up my game and include compassion. Compassion is an even bigger, “big boy” word.

I’m convinced that many things in life neither do nor can exist in isolation. I can’t be happy unless you are happy. I can’t be healthy unless you are healthy. COVID is proof of the latter. I’m sure it ties in with the golden rule, which in its original form said, “What’s repugnant to you, do not do to others.” It’s a biggie, and I’m going to leave that as an exercise for you to think about.

Empathy: being able to understand what others are feeling. Consider also the importance of being empathetic toward oneself. Many times, this can be as hard as it gets. All too often, we back away from our own feelings and refuse to acknowledge what’s going on inside. Looking in the mirror, honestly, and admitting to what we see and feel are Herculean tasks. Glimpsing even a part of who we are can be frightening. Let’s move on to compassion.

Compassion, in many ways, is a step after empathy. While empathy is the ability to share and acknowledge feelings, compassion is empathy brought forward: acting with kindness to alleviate another’s suffering. A good lesson is similar to the one given on airplanes: if the masks drop, take care of your own mask first before helping another, such as your child.

It is indeed difficult, but be kind to yourself, especially during this holiday season when demands seem to come from everyone and everyplace. Kindness requires taking time-outs as a way of self-care and, when necessary, saying, “No, I’m sorry, but I can’t do that right now.” Set reasonable bounds for yourself and recognize that for others. It’s OK to let others know they are important enough to deserve understanding.

Compassion is acting with care and kindness toward others and ourselves. Not so simple when it means admitting we’re not perfect, don’t have all the answers…but we can work together toward a common end and the common good.

We’ve just scratched the surface here talking about empathy and compassion. But it’s a start. And after all, isn’t that what this holiday season is all about?

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Ken was a Professor of Mathematics, a ceramicist, a welder, and an IBMer until downsized in 2000. He taught yoga until COVID-19 decided otherwise. He continues writing, living with his wife and beagle in Shorewood, Wisconsin. He enjoys chamber music and mysteries. He’s a homebrewer and runs whitewater rivers. Ken is a writer and his literary works can be found at https://www.kmkbooks.com/

He welcomes feedback on his articles and can be reached at havokjournal@havokmedia.com.

As the Voice of the Veteran Community, The Havok Journal seeks to publish a variety of perspectives on a number of sensitive subjects. Unless specifically noted otherwise, nothing we publish is an official point of view of The Havok Journal or any part of the U.S. government.