Notes, To-Dos, and Peace of Mind

Last week was rough. A couple of nights, I had trouble sleeping, and when I did fall asleep, it was light and restless. What a bummer. I kept wondering—what’s the deal? Something I ate? A new stressor? That’s usually the first place to look. What the heck was bugging me?

I tried to sort through all the junk floating around in my head during those sleepless hours. Sure, there was a lot—there always is. I’m not unique in that. Everyone’s got their share: a house, a partner, kids, parents, friends, maybe even a distant third cousin popping up out of nowhere. Something always breaks or needs replacing. That’s life. You deal with it, right? Been there, done that.

But this felt different. Then, slowly, the lightbulb flickered on. One thing had changed—where I work. I’m retired, so it’s not work-work, but I write. My PC used to sit on a desk where I’d spend a couple of hours each day, hammering away at the keyboard. But I’m getting older, and my feet started puffing up and staying that way. My wife, who’s usually right, told me I was sitting too much and needed to move around more. Her best advice? Lie down with my feet up the wall. Ever try writing that way?

Then she suggested I move the PC to the floor and sit with my legs extended or crossed. Lucky for me, I taught yoga, so it was a great idea. I also started reading for 15 minutes with my legs up at a right angle.

(By the way, if you’re interested, start by lying on the floor with your pelvis a foot or so from the wall. Keep your legs at a comfortable angle. Gradually—over a week or more, as your hamstrings loosen—you can move your pelvis closer. Or try this: lie near a chair, with your pelvis close to its edge, and drape your legs across the seat. Your lower limbs will be higher than your heart, which reverses blood flow pressure. (Note: Don’t jump into any new exercise if it might not be safe. Check with your doctor when in doubt and always take it slow.)

Back to my story—my feet aren’t swollen anymore! But what about the bigger issue—why wasn’t I sleeping, and why was I so anxious? I started visualizing my old workspace versus my new setup on the floor in another room.

Bingo! At my old desk, I used to keep little 2 x 3 scraps of paper torn from mailers with blank backs. I’d jot down my TO-DOs on them—just a couple at a time. When I finished something, I’d ball up the scrap and toss it over my shoulder toward the trash. Out of sight, out of mind. It was oddly satisfying.

In my new “office,” which doubles as the guest room, I didn’t have those scraps. No little notes, no mess. Instead, I was keeping all my TO-DOs in my head. And let me tell you, as you get older, worrying about forgetting things can take over your brain. Stupid, I know, but it was keeping me up at night and gnawing at me during the day.

So, screw it. I grabbed some scraps and wrote down a couple of TO-DOs. Double bingo! My face softened, my shoulders relaxed, and I was back to handling everyday stuff. That, I can manage. Plus, there’s nothing like the satisfaction of crossing something off and tossing a crumpled slip into the trash—a bonus beer moment for every slip I can toss.

Lesson? At least one. We all have our ways of coping, and many are ridiculously simple, almost silly. But so what? They get us through. They work. If you think you don’t have any, ask a friend—you might be surprised. I just shared one of mine. Want more? Hmm, that’ll cost you—just kidding.

Truth is, I’ve got others buried in my routines: drinking beer from a bottle instead of a glass, skipping the fridge for my brews, or doing a couple of stretches in bed first thing in the morning. They’re little things, but they make me, me. They remind me I’m worth it, as silly as it seems.

And you? You’re worth it too. Take a moment to think about the things that make you uniquely you. No need to brag, but trust me: you’re NICE, and you’re worth it.

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Ken was a Professor of Mathematics, a ceramicist, a welder, and an IBMer until downsized in 2000. He taught yoga until COVID-19 decided otherwise. He continues writing, living with his wife and beagle in Shorewood, Wisconsin. He enjoys chamber music and mysteries. He’s a homebrewer and runs whitewater rivers. Ken is a writer and his literary works can be found at https://www.kmkbooks.com/

He welcomes feedback on his articles and can be reached at havokjournal@havokmedia.com.

As the Voice of the Veteran Community, The Havok Journal seeks to publish a variety of perspectives on a number of sensitive subjects. Unless specifically noted otherwise, nothing we publish is an official point of view of The Havok Journal or any part of the U.S. government.