Failing Forward

I’m not some self-help guy, but I want to share something that’s helped shape my perspective lately: just because you’ve failed doesn’t make you a failure. All you have to do is try again and—boom—not a failure. Each step forward is a step in the right direction and away from failure. Keep stepping. Keep learning. This is how we move forward. This is how you finally break through, one step at a time.

I have to remind myself of this as I strike out repeatedly. Recently, I drove around nine hours round trip to hike in prime habitat for just a few hours. On that three-mile hike, all I found were chiggers, countless ticks, biting flies, and an army of mosquitos. That wasn’t very “animal expert” of me. No cool wildlife was discovered under logs or along the trail. But that’s the way it goes most of the time.

I went to hang out with a friend. The hiking was just a bonus. The conversation and shared experience were the real treasures. That was worth every insect bite and mile driven. Perspective.

I’ve driven countless miles since the last “successful” adventure. I don’t consider coming up short in the way of animals a complete waste. I’m putting in the work. This stuff doesn’t come as easy as travel writers, reality TV stars, or YouTubers make it look. Everything comes down to planning, execution, and a whole lot of luck.

I’ve driven to pristine habitat on perfect nights only to find nothing. That’s the norm. There always seems to be some unaccounted variable I forgot to plan for—like a cold front or phase of the moon—that deters wildlife and discourages me.

Sometimes I feel like I’m fooling myself into thinking the next time will be different. Then the stars line up, and the animals come out to play. I find myself in a wonderland of awe. You benefit from those experiences—I hope. That’s usually when I put pen to paper or shoot a video showcasing the wonders I’ve discovered. Those magical trips keep me coming back again and again.

For the third time this week, I drove home empty-handed and bleary-eyed from wild places. So it goes. Half the fun is when the adventure goes bad anyway.

The positives always outweigh the negatives. Even though I didn’t return triumphant with an adventure story or award-winning photo, I enjoyed being out there. There’s something about being away from home and out in the wild.

I heard Bobwhite quail calling at Croatan National Forest, which warmed my heart immeasurably this week. I heard copious frogs and whippoorwills calling from a marsh on Scotland County game lands. My wife and I even saw a large river cooter turtle laying eggs on the side of the road two miles from our house. These are all wins—despite being “commonplace.” A win is a win.

I didn’t fail—I gained an opportunity to learn and try again… and again. Once I shift my perspective, I feel less defeated and look at each setback as a setup for recalibration.

So, did I drive over 500 miles this week to find one toad that I could have seen in my backyard? Yes. Yes, I did. He’s a glorious toad. The best. So, it was worth it. At least that’s what I’m telling myself.

My camera stayed in the bag, but my heart still felt full. Adventure is what you make of it. I’m learning all the variables and modifying my approach one opportunity at a time. I’m learning to fail forward, and I have to say—I like the outcomes more this way.

Onward to the next adventure.

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This first appeared in The Havok Journal on May 29, 2025.

Stan Lake is a writer, photographer, and filmmaker based in Bethania, North Carolina. His work has appeared in Dead Reckoning Collective, The Havok Journal, Reptiles Magazine, Lethal Minds Journal, and other outlets, and he directed Hammer Down, a documentary about his 2005 deployment in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom with Alpha Battery 5-113th of the North Carolina Army National Guard. For The Havok Journal, he often writes essays and reflections about war memory, veteran life, the outdoors, and everyday experience. You can find his books, collected works, and social media at www.stanlakecreates.com.

As the Voice of the Veteran Community, The Havok Journal seeks to publish a variety of perspectives on a number of sensitive subjects. Unless specifically noted otherwise, nothing we publish is an official point of view of The Havok Journal or any part of the U.S. government.