Let me tell you a story …
I bought a book on “How To Talk To Anyone” in 2010 because I knew I would be talking to people in public after I released my book and needed to promote it.
It was an audiobook that I found at Barnes and Noble and I needed an audiobook because reading sucks for me. Even now – I use a reader often. iPhones make it available.
From this audiobook, I learned a phrase that I still use to overcome my forgetfulness and I want to share it with the #TBILIFE people reading now. It’s the only thing I remember from the book but this phrase is …. pure gold.
The phrase is … “So, how do you spend your time these days?”
Say it your own way but use it.
For people that live with brain damage from various causes, remembering names and people sucks and it sucks more to say “I don’t know who you are” or “I know, I know you but don’t remember enough to have a conversation” to a person that knows you. So, I developed this coping strategy that; doesn’t “out” us for not knowing, the other person won’t think you are an uncaring douche and you avoid the shitty position of explaining your injury. Fuck that. Here’s what you do.
Assess the energy of the person that just approached you… you’ll know where they fit on the continuum of warmth; “very warm feeling” people act differently than “being-nice warm.” If they are pleasant, return the same degree of pleasantness. This is rapport-building 101 and you are in an investigation with the person in front of you. You gotta covertly shake these people down. Quickly.
HERE’S THE MOVE.
Blind them with humility in your body language and as fast as appropriate – ask the question… “How are you spending your time, these days?” … and listen. You’ve set yourself up to get more identifiers to hopefully remember them.
They are going to give you a list of important things happening in their lives… some might be relative to something they need/want from you. At a minimum, you’ll know what topics they think are okay to talk about so you don’t accidentally piss someone off. And you’d be surprised what comes up as a topic that you’d never guess.
Now you’ve either jogged your memory or you’ve got a list of relative topics to discuss with a new person and life goes on. Too Easy.
Boone Cutler is an author, a leader in the Warfighter Rights Movement, and is the first nationally recognized radio talk show personality who is also a combat veteran from the current conflict. He is also very involved with the arts and works as a video producer/director of REDCON-1 Music Group. A combat-injured veteran, Boone is a champion of the effort to combat veteran suicide. As part of this effort, he crafted the Spartan Pledge in order to help veterans find a new mission and help each other.
Boone’s message is simple: “America has lost faith in what they used to believe were the heroes of Hollywood. America has become disgusted with the political climate of today so the only place to turn to and trust for leadership is the Warfighter.”
You can hear Boone’s insightful and motivating show every Saturday on KNEWS 107.3 live from Reno, Nevada.