UFOs. That’s right. This week Havok Journal owner Charlie Faint and his daughter Emily Faint help me dive into the newly released, alarming footage of UFOs buzzing the USS Russell. That wasn’t the only deeply troubling topic – we also talked about the ongoing microwave attacks of US diplomats both globally and, now, in Washington DC. And I also wanted to make sure we covered the leak of Iranian Foreign Minister Mohammad Javad Zarif’s comments about the killing of Qassim Suleimani and John Kerry’s potential spillage of classified information.
With topics like these, it’s hard not to go heavy on the fearmongering. We tried lightening the mood by having Emily on, honoring April’s “Month of the Military Child” two weeks too late. I’m not sure it works – I probably ended up bumming her out about the future of the US, not to mention asking her to pretend she’s an expert on Iranian politics, pulsating sonic attacks, and UFOs (which, to be honest, any 17-year-old really should be). This episode has 100% of your FDA-recommended daily allowance of mystery, intrigue, and the upside of playing mixed-gender football.
Have a listen here.
Due to some family commitments, I had to record this on consecutive days with the Marty Skovlund episode. It was my first time compressing my prep time and, if I’m being honest, it showed. My brain was swimming in so many data points that I was tripping all over myself to get any one of them out. I really crammed because I had a gut feeling that there’s no better way to lose an audience than by doing an hour-long, half-assed take on UFOs. We’ll see if this week’s inarticulateness manages to actually be the better way to lose an audience.
Inarticulateness, you say? Yeah. I start off by saying “gobble up” instead of “garble up.” I think I also say “rich” about fifty times in the first two minutes. I’m sure you’ll find other examples. Maybe make it a drinking game.
I should point out that Charlie and Emily were sitting in the same room during the show. To prevent the significant feedback that caused, they had to keep themselves on mute except when they were talking. I say all this because, at one point, I tell Charlie and Emily that I’m trying hard to say “Month of the Military Child” instead of “Military Child of the Month” and you’ll just have to take my word for it that they were laughing. And that’s not the only time in the episode that I was killing while they were on mute. I’m totally not delusional. I’m not just tossing out dad jokes that land with a thud. I’m seriously funny. Seriously.
The subjects we talk about this week are spooky. But there’s nothing like talking about microwave attacks and then seeing your camera and Emily’s mic go out. I’d hoped the Russians would at least let us get to a few million downloads before we’d be targeted.
I don’t want to ruin our post-show Easter egg but did want to clarify my memory of the French Commando course in Djibouti. I’m pretty sure it’s just in my imagination that you’re awarded a Kepi Blanc or a tab. And I can’t remember if it was the Commando course I missed or the jump where I could have had French jump wings. Either way, I don’t have any of them, so I’m not sure why I even bother to ombudsman any of this.