Shared Humanity and Mutual Benefit

by Brig Gen (ret) John “Dragon” Teichert

Life is not a solo sport; neither is leadership or innovation. We all need the equipping, encouraging, and emboldening that comes with strong, trusting relationships. All too often our rugged independence, a positive characteristic in many situations, causes us to neglect such relationships and try to solve our problems on our own. In doing so, we lose an important force multiplier that comes with friendships, partnerships, and collaborations based on shared humanity and mutual benefit.

In an adversarial environment, it is easy to see life as a zero-sum game. If someone wins, that means someone equally loses. There is only a fixed portion of benefits and rewards, and everyone is a competitor. This outlook prompts stagnation and limitation. Finding ways for shared humanity and mutual benefit, on the other hand, prompts advancement and acceleration. It is a way to turbocharge innovation and break down barriers.

A powerful example of this idea of shared humanity and mutual benefit came from my recent 14-month deployment to Iraq (May of 2020 to July of 2021). Because of my position as America’s Senior Defense Official and Defense Attaché, I represented our nation’s military to the Iraqi government. In spite of the challenges of COVID-19 and severe security concerns, my position required me to leave our compound on a regular basis to meet with senior Iraqi leaders. Specifically, my calendar included a weekly meeting with the intimidating Iraqi Chief of Defense (CHOD), General Abdul Amir Yarallah.

Yarallah was a long-term, highly decorated member of the Iraqi Army. He was known as a stern leader, true warrior, and ruthless authoritarian. His bushy mustache rivals Tom Selleck’s, adding to his rugged look and tough demeanor. More intimidating was his close affiliation with the Iranian aligned militia groups that hated the American presence in Iraq.

These militias launched mortars at American-controlled facilities, hurled rockets at the showcase Iraqi Air Force base to chase away American contractors supporting the Iraqi F-16 program, ran drugs, extorted businesses to raise militia funds, and carried out ruthless assassinations. As Yarallah took his position as the CHOD shortly after I arrived at my deployment, I knew my challenges in dealing with him could be significant.

I sat down with the key leaders of my team, which included my very experienced cultural advisor, to figure out how to approach this problem. During that brainstorming session, we came to two primary conclusions.

First, we needed to find ways to connect with Yarallah at the personal, human level. One of the greatest ways to do so would be to highlight our shared experiences in the battle against ISIS. Iraqis and Americans had fought, bled and died together fighting this common threat to humanity for the last several years. He had been on the front lines of this conflict, and the more we could connect through this commonality, the better we could move past some of the natural animosity.

Second, we needed to find ways to explore common interests. After all, he wanted to succeed in his new position, and that meant improving the sustainable capabilities of his proud military force. In many ways, the United States wanted the Iraqi security forces to improve their sustained military capabilities as well. This overlap provided a wealth of commonality we could explore for mutual benefit.

In the end, we needed to be emotionally intelligent and strategically savvy to connect with Yarallah and work together as human beings. We needed to be savvy enough to strategically understand the overlap of interests where we could explore the fertile ground of mutual benefit. On our side, we also used the connection derived through emotional intelligence to pull his circle of objectives slightly closer to ours to increase the overlap.

As a result of this mindset, our sessions with Yarallah were productive and professional. There were certainly times of tension, most notably when Yarallah sternly reminded me that we had recently killed his best friend – militia leader Abu Mahdi al-Muhandis. Yet, we were able to work through these issues because we had a reason and connection to do so.

There are stakeholders all around us, and the vast majority don’t have the level of innate hostility towards you or your cause as General Abdul Amir Yarallah had with us and ours. In fact, there are many stakeholders who enjoy significant overlap with you and your organization in their common objectives. In each of these cases, a bit of emotional intelligence and strategic savvy can allow you and your team to expand your efforts through win-win solutions that harness shared humanity and mutual benefit.

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This first appeared in The Havok Journal on October 23, 2024.

Brigadier General John “Dragon” Teichert (United States Air Force, Retired) is a champion of inspirational, innovative, integrity-filled leadership. Dragon ended his military career as the Assistant Deputy Under Secretary of the Air Force, International Affairs, and writes and speaks extensively on leadership, innovation, and national security. He is an Amazon #1 best-selling author (BOOM! Leadership that Breaks Barriers, Challenges Convention, and Ignites Innovation) and maintains a robust schedule of international-level media engagements. Dragon’s activities can best be followed at johnteichert.com and on LinkedIn. He continues to serve with his amazing wife, Dr. Melonie Teichert, who is a chemistry professor at the United States Naval Academy and an Air Force veteran herself, and their three remarkable children.

As the Voice of the Veteran Community, The Havok Journal seeks to publish a variety of perspectives on a number of sensitive subjects. Unless specifically noted otherwise, nothing we publish is an official point of view of The Havok Journal or any part of the U.S. government.