Reaching Out

It’s tough out there. Depression is all too easy: just read the newspaper any day. Death and destruction wherever you look. Political trials and high-jinx in every corner of the globe. And the climate crisis. Tough getting up and facing the day or night. And yet we are all unique and have the power to make it better for ourselves and others.

I’m not talking about running a marathon or finding a cure for cancer, but the smaller things that are in their way just as important. These smaller things when combined together can do wonderful things. But they’re usually the simple things that we overlook, or dismiss as being too stupid to even bother with. And I’m just as lax as the next person, yawning and saying “Why bother?”

I’ll be boorish and preach to myself. Appearance matters. For a while I didn’t think it mattered how I dressed. Yeh, my clothes were reasonably clean and didn’t smell. But I did go for what was super comfortable – old sweats and torn shirts were fine. Heck, I wasn’t going out anywhere or who cares if it’s just to the corner store. My wife prodded me that I was looking like a homeless person and, with my beard and all, could be giving them a bad name. I needed a couple of reminders, well more than a couple. But finally I started cleaning up my act: casual slacks and a shirt were just as comfortable and I could change them around, adding color and variation to the outfits. My wife thanked me. “It was getting to be like the same bowl of cold cereal day after day. Boring!”

And now even I appreciate the change and the challenge of picking out an interesting combo occasionally. I also realize that it helps in a not so subtle way to raise my spirits when I value myself enough to dress and groom more carefully. I don’t miss saying good morning to that bum in the bathroom mirror. Respecting myself I can also respect others.

At this holiday season there are often “Giving Trees” either where you work or play/pray. Often there are leaves with request for socks, underwear, oral hygiene products, etc. It’s a good opportunity to raise your game. Help others look better too.

Let’s also pause and acknowledge that others are facing similar challenges. We would all like to better ourselves. Alas, in our competitive society it’s all too easy to fall into a trap that the only way to get to the top of a heap is by pulling someone else down, or even trampling over them to get to the top. I don’t think it works that way. In the scramble up by pulling others down we’re also pulling the mountain down. There won’t be a “King of the Mountain” if there’s no mountain left!

Of course that’s an over-simplification. But it’s worth thinking about. We can all rise to the top if we reach out and give a hand’s up to someone else, and they in turn to another and then eventually it comes back to us. It’s like insurance, but we get paid in advance of any disaster. If everyone is educated and has training then fewer people need assistance etc. And more people have good earnings lightening the tax burden. Yeah, I want every one to get ahead. I was unemployed for many months with two little kids. Damn glad assistance was available. It came from others and I didn’t ask about their skin color, religion, or politics.

It’s important to make a connection from how we treat ourselves to how we treat others. And how we can broaden our reach to be inclusive. It can start with doing little things for ourselves, respectful things – shaking off our lethargy and take a walk in the neighborhood. Practice smiling at the trees and then those walking by. Be courteous crossing the street. And if there’s a bit of litter, respect the neighborhood – pick it up and dispose of it properly. No matter no one sees you do this. You and I will know!

Perhaps there’s a way to help out serving in a soup kitchen or ask in your place of worship (or better yet, where you don’t worship). Reach out and give a hand. Most important of all, if you yourself need help, don’t be embarrassed, reach out and seek help. You’ll be helping more than yourself.

And don’t forget, committing random acts of kindness raises us all.

Best wishes for the Holiday Season.

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Ken was a Professor of Mathematics, a ceramicist, a welder, and an IBMer until downsized in 2000. He taught yoga until COVID-19 decided otherwise. He continues writing, living with his wife and beagle in Shorewood, Wisconsin. He enjoys chamber music and mysteries. He’s a homebrewer and runs whitewater rivers. Ken is a writer and his literary works can be found at https://www.kmkbooks.com/

He welcomes feedback on his articles and can be reached at havokjournal@havokmedia.com.

As the Voice of the Veteran Community, The Havok Journal seeks to publish a variety of perspectives on a number of sensitive subjects. Unless specifically noted otherwise, nothing we publish is an official point of view of The Havok Journal or any part of the U.S. government.