I was thinking about my last essays; I’m sure they were influenced by my friend’s stay in the hospital and his passing. I was already feeling down this certainly didn’t help. I don’t like being depressed. It’s no fun for me or any one else around me. Thankfully, now it’s not that bad. But we’re all delicately balanced organisms and even small things can be amplified without our making the connection immediately. That’s especially so since we’re unique and have no easy way of running a controlled experiment if we want to isolate and determine possible causative factors for a given condition.
A month ago I changed one of the meds I take for my heart condition. The one I was taking had two known side effects: decrease in strength and muscle cramping. I could live with decreased strength; a few seconds more to swim each lap is no big deal at 82. Muscle cramps are another problem. So, after consulting with my cardiologist we switched to a newer drug in the same family. Smiles – further decrease in strength, more cramping and an overall muscle tightness. And worse yet – feeling more depressed. After a couple of weeks I told my wife and she checked out the med on line. Guess what? All of those were not infrequent side effects. I stopped. Three days later I was feeling better and went back on the old med – will review with my doc next time we meet.
If something’s not right – get help and treatment. But even more IMPORTANT monitor that treatment, trust your instinct, and do your research. You’re well worth it.
Back to the big picture: sadness and depression. Tough with winter coming on – short days and challenging weather with less sunshine exacerbates things. But in life there are cycles within cycles: what goes up – goes down and vice versa. We’re in a constant state of flux and renewal. Winter yields to spring, spring to summer. Night and darkness yields to day and light.
I was thinking about this. And if you like the Bible (you don’t have to be a believer, just willing to ponder when you come to a pause) the story of creation states there was evening and there was morning. First comes the darkness and then comes the light. I smiled. I never thought about it that way but being down I smiled: how nice – after all this shit, there’s going to be a light at the end of the tunnel.
And, funny as it ain’t, I’m typing this on the shortest day of the year. Going forward – more light. And so we will all cycle – down and up. Just need to look at it that way.
Best once again best wishes for the Holidays and a joyous and healthy New Year.
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Ken was a Professor of Mathematics, a ceramicist, a welder, and an IBMer until downsized in 2000. He taught yoga until COVID-19 decided otherwise. He continues writing, living with his wife and beagle in Shorewood, Wisconsin. He enjoys chamber music and mysteries. He’s a homebrewer and runs whitewater rivers. Ken is a writer and his literary works can be found at https://www.kmkbooks.com/
He welcomes feedback on his articles and can be reached at havokjournal@havokmedia.com.
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