by Hugh Jashol for Article 107 News* PORTLAND, OR — In a shocking yet somehow unsurprising development, law enforcement academies nationwide have Continue Reading
The Business of Breaking Us
by Tammy Pondsmith Remember when the news was about facts? Quaint little artifacts—dates, places, quotes—stacked together like sober index cards. Continue Reading
General Tso Was a Coward and America Ate It Up
by Untactic Al Introduction: A Dish That Outsold the Man When most Americans order Chinese takeout, they aren’t thinking about Qing Dynasty Continue Reading
Greenlanders Prepare for the Day America Steals Their Ice
by: Untactic Al NUUK, GREENLAND — A linguistic misunderstanding has sent shockwaves through the world’s largest island after rumors spread that Continue Reading
Pentagon Declares Lint the Fabric of War
by Untactic Al WASHINGTON, D.C. — September 13, 2025 In a move that combines environmental sustainability with pure logistical absurdity, the Continue Reading
Congress is a Mausoleum with a Lobbyist Gift Shop
by Tammy Pondsmith If you want to know why America needs term limits, look no further than Capitol Hill, where public service has quietly mutated Continue Reading
Breaking News Media Dies of Self-Inflicted Wounds
by Tammy Pondsmith The “mainstream media” is dying the way a drunk karaoke singer goes out at last call—loud, embarrassing, and convinced everyone Continue Reading
Eisenhower’s Gift That Keeps on Billing
by Tammy Pondsmith When Dwight D. Eisenhower left office in 1961, he didn’t just warn America about the “military-industrial complex”—he Continue Reading
Sly Fox Saw 2025 Coming and We Didn’t Listen
by Tammy Pondsmith, Article 107 News Back in 1985, Sly Fox dropped Let’s Go All the Way, a pop-funk track so catchy you could two-step right past Continue Reading
Studies: Quitting U.S. News Media Now Greatly Reduces Serious Risks to Veterans, Active Duty
by Hugh Jashol, Article 107 News*WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a move applauded by both medical professionals and every E-4 who’s ever screamed “fake news” Continue Reading
“Chicks Dig Bad Decisions,” and Other Things You Hear a Lance Corporal Say
by Hugh Jashol, Article 107 News CAMP LEJEUNE, NC — In a bold financial maneuver that will surely echo through the annals of bad life choices, Continue Reading
Operation FLOATIES to Address Navy Fighter Mishaps
by Hugh Jashol, Article 107 News* On Location at the USS Harry S. Truman – Somewhere Near Where $67 Million Went to Die (Again) In a stunning Continue Reading