When Grief Knocks and God Answers

So exhausted, so broken
Rivers of tears
Too much loss for me to bear
Grief
You may not camp here, but you must visit, reason, and decide how and why you can go on

Triggers
Almost four years since the love of my life, the one who completed me
The one who gave me strength unspeakable when needed
Responded to heaven’s call

Oh sigh, what have I learned? How have I managed to put one foot in front of the other
Only, and I mean only, Jesus

Givers find camping at grief a luxury that should not be indulged in
After all there is so much work to do
Someone has to keep going, be strong, shine and light the way

Sometimes the pretending becomes so close to reality, the faith manifests a feeling of release and wellness….
Then
The floor drops out again, and I am reminded how very broken, fragile and tired I still am

Is it pretending or practicing, is it fake or true?
I AM, says what you live is the real you.

However you make it, some fast, some slow
There are so many ways
On this journey’s road
Be kind to yourself, you know you the best

Stay in the present with joy for the past
Without which no memories would be
Choose to go on, for the honor of living
Choose to go on, one more day
Second by second, moment by moment
You make it to the next day.

Proof you can do it, is seen by the lives
You have touched in spite of your pain
Promise still stands
Truth always rings true
The rest of us here… still need you

_____________________________________

For 43 years, Dennis and Diana Nickell shared their lives, passion, and hearts. Dennis, a Vietnam Combat Veteran who dealt daily with the aftermath of his 14 months in-country, spent his later years reaching out to Veterans, their loved ones and tried to help share why you should never give up. Sept, 12th, 2021 Dennis joined his brothers in arms in heaven, who never had the chance to have the life he fought for daily, and his wife Diana still carries on the mission of educating, enlightening, and encouraging those who have paid such a heavy price for freedom. 

Dedicated to ALL, first responders, and heroes, Diana has found peace in the wealth of her family and her faith. The YouTube series Surviving Vietnam can be accessed freely at https://www.survivevietnam.com/

“Quiet Place” first appeared in Breaking Chains, written by Dennis Nickell.

All rights are reserved, for created content shared about their amazing journey, including original poetry by Diana. Feel free to contact Diana at dnickell1955@gmail.com with any questions or concerns.

As the Voice of the Veteran Community, The Havok Journal seeks to publish a variety of perspectives on a number of sensitive subjects. Unless specifically noted otherwise, nothing we publish is an official point of view of The Havok Journal or any part of the U.S. government.