Service Academy Cadets Celebrate First Year by Torchlighting the DEI Curriculum

by Brad Chillier
Senior Analyst for Predictable Disasters, Article 107 News

The Pentagon announced that effective immediately, all U.S. Military Service Academies will conduct a vigorous purge of Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) materials from their libraries. Secretary of Defense Lloyd Austin challenged academy leadership to devise “new and innovative ways” to transform the purge into a sacred rite of passage for first-year cadets.

Pentagon spokesperson Neville DaTrooth emphasized that “the future Guardians of the Republic should be inducted into this as a ritual and sacred duty”—a sentiment suggesting that even the bureaucratic heart of D.C. still remembers what duty once meant.

The first year at a service academy is notoriously brutal. Cadets endure relentless academic demands, grueling physical training, and a culture of uncompromising discipline. They must rapidly evolve from civilians into leaders-in-training, managing pressure with resilience and grit. Traditionally, their first year culminates in ceremonies celebrating their survival and growth: parades, awards, and rituals honoring the academy’s core values.

This year, however, the brass has decided to add a ceremonial twist. In line with the Secretary’s directive, cadets will be assigned a title from the Pentagon’s DEI “prohibited book list”—some 400 volumes strong. At the signal, cadets will charge into the library, locate their assigned ideological contraband, and sprint it to a designated collection point. After the final book is seized, cadets will march in formation and, while singing their alma mater, watch the entire mound set ablaze in a ceremonial “cleansing by fire.” Upon conclusion of the ritual, each cadet will be awarded their Second-Year Student (SS) pin, marking the successful close of their plebe year.

Asked which titles had earned banishment, DaTrooth was succinct: “Any book that doesn’t make America Great Again is now subject to Pentagon prohibition.” Sources hint that volumes promoting racial essentialism under the guise of “equity” were the first to go—a subtle acknowledgment that racism dressed up in progressive language is still racism, no matter how inclusive it claims to be.

The Secretary of Defense himself is expected to attend the inaugural torch ceremonies at each academy, beginning with West Point, where tradition and irony are both in ample supply.

In a related announcement, West Point revealed a new physical fitness requirement for cadets seeking to branch into Combat Arms—infantry, artillery, armor, aviation, and engineering. Candidates must now drag a SKED litter loaded with the equivalent weight of alcohol consumed by the Secretary in a week—estimated at a modest 200 pounds—a full 100 meters.

A West Point spokesperson explained the new standard simply: “We’re putting the strong back in Army Strong.”

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Brad Chillier is a former government insider who now exposes the engineered failures of modern institutions with the same precision once reserved for creating them.

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