The Path to Self-Mastery: Understanding the Difference Between Self-Awareness, Self-Understanding, and Self-Mastery

by JC Glick and Michael Ostrolenk

When we talk about personal development or growth, we often hear about the importance of self-awareness. But what does it truly mean to be self-aware, and how does it differ from self-understanding and self-mastery? TThese three stages aren’t just trendy terms—they embody a transformative journey for anyone striving to reach their full potential.

Self-Awareness: Knowing Who You Are

Self-awareness is the foundation of personal growth. It’s the clear knowledge of who you are, how you think, feel, sense the world, how you behave, and how that behavior is perceived by others. It’s about understanding your actions and reactions in the present moment, recognizing your strengths and weaknesses, and being aware of how your behavior impacts the world around you.

For example, when you walk into a room, are you aware of the energy you bring? Do you notice how people respond to you? Self-awareness gives you a real-time understanding of these dynamics, allowing you to navigate your environment with intention.

Psychologists like Daniel Goleman, who popularized the concept of emotional intelligence, emphasize that self-awareness is crucial for emotional intelligence. It’s about being in tune with your emotions, your triggers, and the effect you have on others.

Self-Understanding: Diving Deeper

But self-awareness, while essential, is just the beginning. Self-understanding goes a step deeper—it’s about knowing why and how  you behave the way you do.  It’s about understanding the experiences, beliefs, and values that have shaped you into who you are today.  And shape is a keyword in explaining Self-understanding.  It is not just thinking about one’s thinking or understanding the values and beliefs  that drive one’s behavior  , it also includes knowing how one organizes one’s self physically.  How one’s posture and muscle tone , for instance, is a reflection of one’s psychology.

Self-understanding involves introspection and reflection, often prompted by life’s challenges. It’s not just about recognizing that you get anxious in certain situations, but understanding why that anxiety exists and how it shows up in the human system. . Did it stem from past experiences? Is it tied to a deeper fear or insecurity? This deeper level of insight  into why and how allows you to start making sense of your behavior and provides the knowledge necessary to change it.

This stage aligns with the work of transformative learning theorists like Jack Mezirow, who argues that self-reflection is key to understanding the deeper reasons behind our actions and beliefs. Through reflection, we can challenge our assumptions and consider new ways of being.

Self-Mastery: Applying What You Know

Self-mastery is the pinnacle of personal development. It’s the ability to take the insights gained from self-understanding and apply them consistently in your life. It’s about making meaningful changes in your behavior, thought patterns, and body itself not without effort or occasional lapses, but with a commitment to growth.

Self-mastery requires discipline, practice, and a growth mindset—a concept developed by psychologist Carol Dweck. With a growth mindset, you view challenges as opportunities to learn rather than as threats to your identity. You recognize that mastery is a process, one that involves setbacks and perseverance.

In this stage, you’re not just aware of your tendencies or understanding their origins; you’re actively working to transform them. If self-awareness is recognizing that you have a short temper, and self-understanding is knowing that it stems from past frustrations, then self-mastery is learning how to manage that temper in a way that aligns with the person you want to become.

How to Grow Through These Stages

Self-awareness, self-understanding, and self-mastery are more than just stages—they are steps on a lifelong journey of personal growth. By moving through these stages with intention and effort, you can transform your life in meaningful ways. Remember, it’s not about being perfect; it’s about being better than you were yesterday. So, ask yourself: where are you on this journey, and how can you take the next step toward self-mastery? The path is yours to walk, and the rewards are well worth the effort.

1. Start with Reflection: Begin by building self-awareness. Pay attention to your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. Journaling can be a powerful tool to capture your observations.
2. Dig Deeper: Move from awareness to understanding by asking yourself why and how. Why do you react the way you do?  How do you react the way you do i.e. your muscle tone, your respiratory patterns, overall posture, etc . What past experiences have shaped your current behaviors? This step might involve seeking feedback from others or working with a coach or therapist to uncover deeper insights.
3. Practice Self Mastery: Take what you’ve learned and apply it. Set specific goals for how you want to change. Be patient with yourself—self-mastery is a journey, not a destination. Celebrate small victories along the way.
4. Embrace a Growth Mindset: Recognize that growth is an ongoing process. Embrace challenges, learn from your mistakes, and continue refining your approach.

Conclusion

Self-awareness, self-understanding, and self-mastery are more than just stages—they are steps on a lifelong journey of personal growth. By moving through these stages with intention and effort, you can transform your life in meaningful ways. Remember, it’s not about being perfect; it’s about being better than you were yesterday. So, ask yourself: where are you on this journey, and how can you take the next step toward self-mastery? The path is yours to walk, and the rewards are well worth the effort.

________________________________

JC Glick serves as the Chief Executive Officer of The COMMIT Foundation. JC brings with him a wealth of experience as a leadership consultant and career Army officer and is driven by a deep commitment to supporting veterans in their transition journey. Since transitioning from 20 years of military service in 2015, JC has been a founder and partner of two leadership companies, where his clients included Fortune 500 companies, international non-profit organizations, government agencies, the NFL, numerous NFL and NBA teams, and multiple NCAA programs.

Over the course of his Army career, JC spent over seven years in the Ranger regiment, serving in two Ranger Battalions as well as Regimental Headquarters, participating in the Best Ranger Competition twice, and has over seven and a half years of command time with 11 operational and combat deployments to Haiti, Bangladesh, Iraq, and Afghanistan. JC is the author of two books, including A Light in the Darkness: Leadership Development for the Unknown. In 2017, he was selected as a TEDX Speaker and delivered Rethinking Leadership at TEDX Hammond. JC is also an adjunct professor at St. John’s University in Queens, New York. He holds a degree in Political Science from the University of Rhode Island and is a Liberty Fellow, part of the Aspen Institute.

Michael Ostrolenk is a seasoned Marriage and Family Therapist with 23 years as a resilience and relationship coach. He has a genuine passion for helping individuals navigate the complexities of life. His journey, however, extends far beyond the therapy and coaching room.

In the world of physical resilience, Michael’s exploration has led him to become a Master Coach and Head Instructor at SEALFIT Unbeatable Mind Academy, graduating from SEALFIT’s SOF Academy and Kokoro Camp. He trained in a wide variety of martial arts, including Japanese Jujitsu, Tae Kwon Do, Shaolin Kempo, and the Haganah system, Krav Maga. Currently, as the Director of Human Resilience at Apeiron Zoh, Michael contributes to pioneering programs aimed at transcending the so-called limits of human performance and optimizing human health.

Michael also trained as a personal protection specialist with a wide variety of tactical training under my belt, including at Storm Mountain Training Center, with Security Solutions International, and the Executive Protection Institute. 

He has invested 20-plus years doing transpartisan public policy. Michael helped to build bridges between libertarians, conservatives, liberals, and progressives in order to launch campaigns and expand coalition efforts on a wide variety of issues, including national security, healthcare reform, education, election security, foreign policy, and transparency in government.

As the Voice of the Veteran Community, The Havok Journal seeks to publish a variety of perspectives on a number of sensitive subjects. Unless specifically noted otherwise, nothing we publish is an official point of view of The Havok Journal or any part of the U.S. government.